Back to Work!
The dreaded day has arrived. I have to leave my life of leisure to go back to work. After having the very best summer of my life - picking Hayden up from school with Ms. Emy in tow, spending long days with Hayden at the Intrepid, Bronx Zoo and Central Park it was very difficult and sad for me to even think about being away from my kids.
The truth is - I want to be a stay at home mom. I think I would be very good at it, even though it is difficult. My kids are my source of happiness. Watching them interact with other children, teaching them new things about the world around them, experiencing everything in their day - well - I revel it. To have those precious few months, being a stay at home mom - what a GIFT! But at times, instead of thinking of it as a gift, and just being happy to have it - I would feel frustrated that I can't have this life permanently. That somehow I found a career that is actually too good to leave. That I can't afford this life on one income. At times I doubt if we are making the right decisions.
When I take a step back and think about this rationally I do believe we are making the right choices. We simply can not live on one income and be as close a family. If I stopped working we would have to move to the burbs and relatively far out. If that happened, Chris would have to leave for work earlier and come home later. He would not be as involved as he is today - and really - is that the right choice? One of the benefits of having working parents is that we both need to be very hands on. I am more so, but still he is as well. And with my job, I am able to work from home a few days a week, stay home when needed (if they are sick or have doctor appointments), drop off H to school everyday and pick up the days I am home. Instead of going to lunch I can go to the playground instead - it's really an ideal life.
Fast forward: I started work again, I am enjoying it. I do like what I do although the days I am not at home I feel lonely and really disconnected from the kids. I am my happiest when I can be at home with them, hear their voices from the other room when I am working. Luckily I've been able to do that several times a week.
The truth is - I want to be a stay at home mom. I think I would be very good at it, even though it is difficult. My kids are my source of happiness. Watching them interact with other children, teaching them new things about the world around them, experiencing everything in their day - well - I revel it. To have those precious few months, being a stay at home mom - what a GIFT! But at times, instead of thinking of it as a gift, and just being happy to have it - I would feel frustrated that I can't have this life permanently. That somehow I found a career that is actually too good to leave. That I can't afford this life on one income. At times I doubt if we are making the right decisions.
When I take a step back and think about this rationally I do believe we are making the right choices. We simply can not live on one income and be as close a family. If I stopped working we would have to move to the burbs and relatively far out. If that happened, Chris would have to leave for work earlier and come home later. He would not be as involved as he is today - and really - is that the right choice? One of the benefits of having working parents is that we both need to be very hands on. I am more so, but still he is as well. And with my job, I am able to work from home a few days a week, stay home when needed (if they are sick or have doctor appointments), drop off H to school everyday and pick up the days I am home. Instead of going to lunch I can go to the playground instead - it's really an ideal life.
Fast forward: I started work again, I am enjoying it. I do like what I do although the days I am not at home I feel lonely and really disconnected from the kids. I am my happiest when I can be at home with them, hear their voices from the other room when I am working. Luckily I've been able to do that several times a week.
posted by Ali Young aka 'The Baby Builder' at 7:25 AM
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