It's Cold Outside But My Brain Is All About Summer.

It's 16 degrees out and windchill -1. I decided to stay in all day and turn up the heat. I just had a glorious summertime dream. In my dream, it was a perfect summer day, about 80. I was at my parents house, sitting under the shade of a big tree, new baby in my arms. I built a beautiful tent to lay under, was eating fresh fruit and Hayden was playing nearby, quietly while I read a book.

I'm ready for summer and I think I may even be ready for this new babe.

I Thought I Knew, But I Have No Idea!!

I totally thought I was having a girl. I tried to play dumb to Chris so he could still be surprised, but I truly thought from seeing the Ovaries in the sonogram that it was girl-city. When I told my OB she said, silly - those are YOUR ovaries NOT the babies! So now, I truly have no idea what kind of baby we are having.

I'm thrilled with a boy or girl, so I'm not wishing for one over the other. I'm just excited at the surprise!! Four more months until we find out. :)

Boobies.

Hayden has discovered 'boobies. A little in my opinion but I can't have him unlearn it. When he plays with his female action figures he yells, Boobies and points at Wonder Woman or Hawk Girl's Chest. Then he points at my chest and yells, 'boobies!" I asked where he learned this and he said, "daddy"

hmmmmm

A Girl?!???

Had our sonogram today where they are able to look at the baby to ensure the anatomy is all there. Our baby seems perfectly healthy! She is also very active.

We told the doctor we don't want to know the sex, and she was very careful to ensure we didn't look. However, at the end of the sonogram she was looking at two circles and labeled them LT OV and RT OV. What else can it be but Ovaries?!

Chris was disappointed I told him, but he was right there staring at the screen! I thought he saw it too.

So a girl!? I think so. What else could OV be?

It's Ovaries. Gotta be! I just went shopping and bought some girl bedding! I'm so excited A GIRL A GIRL! How fun!

Hayden's 3 Y'All!

How did we get here? I can't believe it! My little baby is now 3, and if I dared call him a baby he would get very upset with me.

We had a wonderful birthday party. We rented a little restaurant called Sweet Melissa's for cookie decorating, brunch and ice cream sundae's.

Attendees: Becket, Lukas, Elle, Rogan, William and of course Sienna.

It ended up being so expensive I've been referring to it as Hayden's Bar Mitzvah.

After the party the grandparents and extended family (Sisi, Mali & Josh) all came over to open presents. Sienna gave her approval to all the gifts and we played a rousing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Hayden kept saying, 'Boy, my hippo is hungry!'

Pictures to come shortly.

Boys!

Hayden has this funny game of pretending to feed me worms or germs. He'll pretend he's feeding me strawberries then yell, 'it's worms! or it's germs! YUCK!' And laugh hysterically.

He also had his adorable little cat Boris eat a baby dinosaur this morning.

I have a feeling little girls don't feed their parents pretend worms/germs or have their stuffed animals eat other toys.

Email From My Very Pregnant Friend Brooke: (I think it's very cute and will be me in 6 months)

I slept alright last night. I did get fully dressed this morning and then sat on the couch for a minute and ended up falling asleep for 20... oops.

Real Adults!

We are in contract to buy a 3 bedroom - room for both babies. Can't believe it - we are real adults now. :)

First Parent - Teacher Conference

Had our first parent teacher conference this morning. It was great to hear someone else's opinion on Hayden especially because they think he is such a great kid! Some highlights:

1. He is good at follow-through. When he is done playing with a toy he will put it away. He will really focus on finishing an art project. In all the yrs these teachers have been at school, Hayden is the only one to bring back an art project he didn't finish.

2. He loves to clean (gets this from his dad). He enjoys dusting the room, cleaning toys in the sink and using a little vacuum.

3. He is kind and considerate. When he is done playing with a toy, like play-doh he will ask the other kids if they want to use it.

4. He is even tempered and independent.

5. He loves super-heros and is beginning to play imaginary games in the school yard with his other friends.

Net-net: we were blessed with an amazing kid!

See you later poops.

Hayden has essentially been potty trained for the past few months. A huge accomplishment, I must say.

When we bring him to the potty and he poops, he stands up, looks at his poop proudly and then says,
'I flush!'

Then as he is flushing he says:
'See you later poops!"
"Go home to your mommy and daddy"


Cracks me up every single time.

I'm Going to Flash You Later.

We recently bought Hayden a talking Buzz Light Year doll. Hayden will sit around copying what Buzz says, but often repeats it wrong. For instance:

Buzz said, "i'm going to blast you with my lazer'
Hayden repeated: 'I'm going to flash you later'

Heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today...

it was a beautiful sound.

True conversation with Hayden....

True conversation with Hayden

Me: Where does Daddy work?
Hayden: Etrade
Me: Where does Mommy work?
Hayden: Google.
Me: Where does Grandpa Mike (the doctor) work?
Hayden: Golf.

Story Time.

Hayden likes the stories I tell. Since I've been a bit tired lately, we'll hang out in my bed and I'll rub his back. We lie almost nose to nose and I'll tell him the story of a little girl named Ali who loved going to school. Her dogs Mandy and Wheatie missed her so one day they followed her all the way to school. Low and behold the teacher allowed the dogs to stay in school that day. He thinks this is a great story, especially when Mandy and Wheatie take the school bus home with little Ali.

These days Hayden and I share so many special little moments together. I wish I could bottle him.

My love bug.

At dinner last night Hayden looked at Chris and I and said, 'I love you mommy. i love you daddy.' And then he got sad face. He was feeling overwhelmed and got a little emotional, requiring several family hugs to help him. It was so cute, so sweet, so special and beautiful. I love you Hayden!

I have a secret and I'm excited to share it with you.

I'm pregnant. I think it's a girl. First trimester has been tough, but I'm getting through it.

Don't tell. It's our secret.

Why?

Hayden caught a case of 'The Why's' from Mason when we were in the Outer Banks this year. He now asks 'Why' to everything. Example of typical conversation:

Me: Please don't jump on the couch
Hayden: Why?
Me: Because it's dangerous, you can fall and hit your head
Hayden: Why?
Me: Because the table is right near the couch and you aren't looking where you are jumping
Hayden: Why?
Me: Why aren't you looking? I don't know why you aren't looking, maybe it's because you are too busy asking Why.
Hayden: Why?
Me: Stop asking me Why!

--please note that I don't just say ' because mommy said so'. I try to answer with a full explanation but still, the Why's go on and on.

A Big Day

Had one of those great, fun-filled days with Hayden and Sienna yesterday. I find it remarkable, that throughout a hundred stressful moments of Malissa or I telling our kids not to do something dangerous or explaining 'why', we still manage to have a wonderful day.

What did we do?
Central Park - turtle pond, castle, scootering in NYC topped off by delicious NYC Pizza.

Hayden's First Day at PreSchool.

Let me ask you, how did we get here? I gave birth to this adorable little baby, blinked, and now I'm walking him to his first day of preschool.

Hayden did great. A bit shy at first, but is acclimating well to his new environment. We go Thurs/Friday from 9-11:45, but for the first few weeks only for one hour T/F as we get the kids used to going to school and playing with new friends. I think Hayden will love school, meeting new friends and experiencing new experiences.

Dottie the Lady Bug

Found a lady bug in the apartment today. Named her Dottie and & we talked to her for a bit. Asked her if she liked our house, where she came from and if she wanted to be friends with Borris the cat. Then we took her outside to be with her friends in the little green bush outside our house.

Being a mom is filled with many of these magical little moments.

I'm traveling for business.....

......and I really miss Hayden this morning.

2.5

I love this age. Wish I could bottle it. Wish I could keep Hayden as he is, as an adorable little toddler, forever.

At 2.5 Hayden can talk with me, tell me snippets about his day. He communicates well, so he doesn't cry as much and can be reasoned with. He sleeps through the night and tells me when he is ready for a nap. He has friends that he requests play dates with; gets excited when he sees them and sad when they go home. He is my little buddy, and I spend every free moment with him.

After work, I run home so we can go to the park together or have a play date with one of his little friends. We eat dinner together, and chit chat about our day. He gets excited when daddy comes home and wants to 'pway' with his superheros.

As I write this, Hayden is playing in the living room, talking to his cars and reading his books. He talks about what he sees or introduces his toys to each other; 'Hi, I'm superman. Hi, I'm wonderwoman (sounds like wawawoowa)

GOD, I LOVE THIS KID.

The Burbs!

Since the downturn of the housing market and low mortgage rates, Chris has decided it is time we pack up and move to the burbs. I am torn. Logically speaking, it makes sense - we can buy more house for less money. We found a great little town in Westchester and have decided finally that living in Westchester would be a positive move for our family. Although Hayden will enjoy being in a house and having a backyard, it's hard to think of uprooting our life. I'd have to commute in, Janet would need to find new friends for Hayden. And, really, I feel like we are leaving our youth behind.

NYC - I never thought I'd leave it. But after 12yrs, I think it may be time to pack it up and go.

So, we decided to move, put an offer on a house and then, suddenly, in this so-called housing crisis, we were in a bidding war! We lost. Which doesn't bother me - guess I'll have more time as a cool, Brooklyn mom.

June Updates

Hayden is now 2.5yrs old and is in my humble opinion, the best kid in the world. Since my last update, in February, he has grown so much! He is a little talker, although still a bit shy in front of new people.

This weekend we went to a fourth of july party and at the end of the night, when he started getting tired he said, 'i want to go to Hayden's House'. It was adorable. He was running on the grass, drawing, playing with cars and whenever he saw food he'd say, 'i want cake.' He knows when one is at a party, there is cake!

We also went to see a friends new kitchen, Hayden is so used to seeing new homes (from our Larchmont excursions) he was first in line, opening doors, cabinets, etc.

Since it was the July 4th, we considered taking him out to see the fireworks. Chris & I were torn since we didn't want the loud noises to scare him. Ultimately, we decided not to take him to see the fireworks - and what a good decision that was. The entire house was shaking - it sounded like cannons were going off right outside our window. I think we'll need a few more years before fireworks would be fun for him.

This weekend we had beautiful weather. We went hiking in Stonybrook, swimming in the pool, playing at scooter park and today, we are going to the beach. We've been watching our garden grow, and just grabbed some cilantro for guacamole. Hayden loves watering the plants, so they get lots of water when he is around.

It's been a great summer. Hayden's spent lots of time with his grandparents and just has a wonderful time when out here. It's our real summer home.

Reading with Hayden.

Reading book w. Hayden & he is calling out names of all the animals. At picture of a skunk he says, "steak?" At a picture of a worm he says, "shrimp, i eat it

Some Cute Hayden Conversations:

Chris: Hayden, what would you like for breakfast?
Hayde: pasta and meatballs.

Me: Hayden do you want a brother or a sister?
Hayden: A sister.
Me: What should we name her?
Hayden: Elmo

Hayden's 2nd Birthday

We had it, and it was amazing! One of the best days of my life. I was so worried due to numerous cancellations or concerned that Hayden would feel overwhelmed. I was wrong - it was the best.

5 kids attended, 2 of whom Hayden knows really well and of course his grandparents and aunts were all in attendance. Hayden woke up from his nap, we got him dressed-up and made our way to The Little Gym, which is in our building. As soon as his little buddies showed up, it was action time! He was smiling uncontrollably, we all swear he was even showing off - he's never held onto the bar for so long. He took his friend Beckett by the hand to show him around the gym.

After about an hour, we went to the party room for pizza and milk boxes. Grandma Sue had purchased a tablecloth and plates with the characters from Cars. Hayden loved it! He was saying, "cars! cars!" pointing at the tablecloth.

Following that we went back to our apartment for birthday cake (still in the theme of cars). When we sang Happy Birthday, I was beaming from ear to ear. Hayden even blew out his candle! My boy is TWO!

Opening the presents was pure comedy. All the kids gathered around wanting to play with the new toys, which Hayden also wanted. Sienna was opening his gifts, then instead of showing them to Hayden took them around the room saying, "look what Hayden got!" Beckett was convinced a toy with a Monkey was his and was terribly upset that Hayden had first dibs on playing with the toy. In fact, he decided to pick up and leave right after then - his mom found him in the hallway.

It was a beautiful, magical day and I enjoyed every moment of it.

I love you Hayden.

Hayden & Chris reading a book at bedtime.

I Love You.

He said it. He finally said it! He said the words, I love you.

Everything stopped, I couldn't believe my ears. All my work, and kisses, and fun games and painting every morning and it all paid off, in one little sentence - I love you. It was music to my ears - the most amazing sentence of all time. I can't wait to hear it again.

Should I mention that before he said I love you, he said, "I love Movies, YAAAAY! I loooove Movies!". Judging by his enthusiasm for movies, he may actually love movies and TT more than me, but I'll take what I can get.

Poo Poo Head

Was watching A Bugs Life last night, and one of the characters says 'poo poo head'. Hayden, who is sitting next to me on the couch, whispers under his breath, 'poo poo head'. It's only a matter of days before poo poo head becomes a part of his regular vocabulary. THIS is how it starts

The Moon.

Hayden recently discovered the moon. We were walking outside, and we saw a half moon. I pointed it out to him and he was mesmerized. The next day, we were walking in the day, and he turns to me, points to the sky and says, "moon?". Wanting the moon to come out.

Fast forward two weeks. We were driving over the Brooklyn Bridge and we see the moon. Hayden is so excited, he's saying, "Momma, momma, Moon!" Sadly, as soon as we got off the bridge, the moon was hidden by the many buildings in Brooklyn. He became boiling mad, wanting to see the moon again. Not understanding that I have little power to lasso in the moon for him. Although god knows, I would if I could.

California Dreaming.

I want to move to California! I want to enjoy the warm weather all year long. I want to watch Hayden play with his cousins, go to each others birthday parties, and get to know each other even better. I want a backyard, and an easy walk to the beach. I gotta move!

Sammmmy

Hayden and I spent the week in Calabasas, CA with his cousins Max and Sammy. It was wonderful to spend that time with our family. I think Hayden had the time of his life. Watching Max play with Hayden, working so hard to make him laugh and giggle. And little Sammy shared all of his toys and even gave Hayden two little race cars.

Hayden went to Sammy's baseball practice, and kept calling to his name, longingly, trying to play as well. Max was out there practicing with the kids and Hayden kept calling, "Sammmy, sammmy". It was adorable. I wish I could live closer to them.

Would You Accept This Family Into Your Preschool?

I did it! I applied to 4 preschools and have a few tours scheduled for Oct/Nov. I researched, filled out applications and wrote essays - all during one of the most stressful weeks at work. I don't know how I got it done - but I did. H-man is going to school!

Ghetto or Green?

H-A-Y-D-E-N!!

What's that spell!??

Hayden & Grandpa Mike Taking A Nap Outside

Hayden Dancing/Playing in Mirror

Why I Don't Blog More Often

It's been a little over a month since my last blog and generally things are hectic. I've found, in the past six months, that Hayden is so active that when I'm home I'm fully engaged with him. When he goes to sleep, I'm wiped out. I like nothing more than to lie in bed and watch bad TV. Sad, but true.

In terms of work, the past six months have also been stressful. I have a new manager, my manager has a new manager and I now work for Google vs. DoubleClick. Things are going well, but the stress is certainly there.

If I was really honest, sometimes I look forward to my little overnight trips. I can rest, have dinner with adults, sleep in, and/or watch a movie. But ultimately, I always come back missing my little dude and I imagine what he does all day while I'm away.

As I write this blog, a client call is coming in. Another task will have to be left unfinished.

He Changed Again!

I left for an overnight trip to Dallas and I came back and my boy says more words and is trying to talk in full sentences. When I left, he was content to talk in one word sentences, now, one day later, he's babbling all day long. Trying to talk to me, have a conversation!

From Baby To Boy...

I feel like I've talked about this before, but this time, I really mean it: Hayden is now a boy. He's a bona fide toddler. The boy walks, talks, plays with cars, helps take the silverware out of the dishwasher, yells every time he sees a bus, gets upset if he doesn't get his way and refuses to give me kisses when I ask for them. It's amazing!

I can barely take pictures of him, because he is always on the go. We go to the park and he climbs up the stairs, goes down the slide and tries to befriend older kids.

Hearing his little voice - it's like music. It's so sweet and kind, the pitch so high. He yells when he wants to and knows how to whisper. He blows on food that is too hot (...hot, one of this favorite words!).

My little baby, is now a little boy and watching him change, learn and grow is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Hayden's Words:

apple
taxi
bus
car
moo
roar (like a lion)
mama
dada
baby
bye-bye
hi
br (for Brooke)
tickle-tickle (which sounds like a garbled ick-ul - ick-ul)
baa (like a sheep and we think a goat, right?!)


Yesterday he said, bye baby (talking to his Elmo baby) combining two words and forming his very first sentence. And, in the afternoon, he was looking at a picture of an apple, while eating a slice of apple and he said, wait for it.... apple! Ah, it was amazing!

Why I Can't Loose the Last 10lbs of Baby Weight...

Instead of throwing away the lost Cheerios I find on the floor, I eat them. (I'm so gross, I know).

Chris on the Outside, Ali on the Inside.

We noticed Hayden gets upset when we clap and it's not for him. He must be the center of attention, which 93% of the time he is. On the rare occasion we clap for something other than him... he gets sad face and starts to cry. Hayden may look like Chris, but he is all me.

Future Swim Champion Meets Annoying Mother

My kid is the world's best swimmer; he is a natural! Put him in the water and he dunks his head, kicks, floats and does the backstroke. I'd show this to you, but some other annoying mom wouldn't get out of the way when I was trying to video Hayden in class. I swear, one day, there will be a mom war! Annoying moms vs. cool, amazing moms like moi.

Hayden's New Tricks.

I've gotten some feedback from the peanut gallery that my son looks like a little dummy in this video. To set the record straight, he can touch his nose, eyes, teeth, tongue, mouth, hair, ears, belly, belly button, toes, shoes, knees and feet. He can say Moo, roar like a lion and thump his chest like a gorilla. For all your doubters, I'm making a new video that will blow your socks off - except, when I start filming, he wants to grab the camera, so it may take a while to execute. In THIS video, he was looking at himself being filmed, so he was distracted.

I just lost the month of March.

gone. it came and went without much recognition on my part. This is both good and bad, as I typically hate the colder than I think it should be weather.

I'm making amends with the calendar and am going to focus, as best I can on April.

Mom's On The Go.

I suspect that all mom's are in a constant state of movement, although I can't help but think that all working mom's maintain daily life at a frenetic pace. Most days, I can feel my heart, beating, beating, beating, faster and faster, with the aim of moving my body, supplying energy to my brain, so that I can finish a task faster than I thought possible in order to move onto the next. This I do in warp, mom-speed. Write and email, call a client, respond to a - change priorities - ask a question in IM - answer the phone - run to a meeting - making calls and answering emails in the cab - and then a sudden hard stop, whether work is completed or not, in order to run home to put on my mom hat.

We are jugglers, running from one meeting or errand to the next to the next.

Time, which used to hold constant meaning to me has morphed into something I am no longer familiar with. Moving faster than I'm used to. Somehow, months slip by and I can't hold on. February? Where did February go?

As a mom on the go, I get frustrated with anyone that can't keep up with my pace. I get especially annoyed with the nameless people on the street and subways that walk slowly. As I get stuck behind a slow walker, I can't help but wonder, 'why are you so slow? What type of leisurely life do you have that you can walk slowly in the subway of all places?'

I imagine one day, I'll return to normal, slowing down to a regular person's pace. I also imagine it's one of the reason's vacations have become so necessary for me. It allows me, for a few precious days, to slow down to a normal person's pace - walking at a leisurely speed, without a care in the world.

Updates to La Blog

Oy, what a crazy year it's been. I'm so busy I never get a chance to write. If I ever do get a moment to write again, this is what I'd like to document:

1. The fact that hayden loves dogs. When he sees a dog, even from the window of our apartment, he goes crazy, yelling, DOG DOG DOG DOG! Naturally, Chris & I thought taking Hayden to the zoo would be the experience of a lifetime for our child. Well, once again, we were surprised- he couldn't care less. He was even unimpressed by a giraffe. Yawn.

2. Our first family trip, with just the three of us. We went to Santa Barbara. Had the best time!

3. Our trip to LA to see family. How Hayden fell in love with his cousin's Max & Sam. It was one of the most special times I've had yet.

4. Work + Parenting: the endless give and take of it all. How I wish I had a stay at home husband + robot to do whatever I say. If only I were a male living in the 50's - I'd have it all!

5. Nanny love. I never expected my nanny to become a part of our family - yet here we are, and how lucky we are for it.

Hayden's WALKING!

Hayden's First Swim Class!!

Official First Word: Moo.

It's official. Hayden's first word is moo. When I say, "what does a cow say?" he says, "moo" real cute like. He says mamma and dadda, but really, i think it's just babble. Moo is the first word.

Moms Need Moms.

When Hayden was sick last week, I diligently and lovingly took care of him and his every need. When I was sick, my mom did the same for me. She took care of my house, helped finalize plans for Hayden's party, helped me finish a painting I was working on, went back and forth to the grocery store about 5 times in one day. She baked the cupcakes and made the salad. She brought me gatorade, washed my germy sheets when I started feeling better and made me chicken soup. It felt wonderful knowing I could rely on my mom to help me when I needed her. I can be supermom to my kid, but to my mom, I'm still a kid and she's still supermom.

Hands Up!

Mooooooo.

Hayden is repeating us! And not a word that he babbles on his own. He says moooooooooooooo. You know, like a cow!

If we repeat mooooo over, real slow like, several times in a row he'll repeat us. It sounds more like baaaaaaaaaaa, but let's not be picky. The kid is learning!

We Canceled Hayden's First Birthday Party! But He's Still 1, So Who Am I To Complain?

So sad, Chris & I ended up getting the same bug Hayden had - right at the time of his 1st birthday. Because we didn't want to get anyone sick, we decided to cancel the party. What a hard decision! We had friends coming, cupcakes baked, toys out and an outfit picked - we were ready to go. At the last minute, we agreed it would be better to be safe and postpone.

More importantly, Hayden recovered from his first bout of the stomach flu and is doing great. He is a ONE YEAR OLD which is absolutely insane. I don't know where the time has gone, but here we are. One year ago today I was begging the nurse for more percocets. My little guy has grown so much this year: from just a little bundle to developing a real personality, he is crawling and eating on his own and communicating with us. He is our pride and joy, my favorite little person and I can't wait to celebrate many, many, many, many more birthdays!

Hayden is sick..

It's so sad. Hayden is sick, really for the first time.

He was totally fine, then on Saturday night at dinner with friends, he started projectile vomiting. He honestly looked like a scene from the Witches of Eastwick. It was scary. Last night he became feverish and this morning, he is still sleeping. He woke up briefly because he was thirsty, then he curled up next to his toys on the floor in the living room and went to sleep. It was so sad.

When he started vomiting, it was so scary and sad, even Chris almost cried. It was so upsetting to watch him and hear him whimper, knowing there isn't all that much we can do. We had him sleep with us that first night and cuddled with him all day.

I think he is on the mend, although it may be a few days before he is 100%.

here is a photo of him with a fever. He looks super cute with his pinks cheeks.
 

Hayden's Accomplishments:

1. standing on his own!!! (for about 7 mississippi's at a time!)
2. waves hello and good-bye
3. points at what he wants.
4. very expressive without talking - he makes little sounds that I know what they mean. he can call to me from another room or tell me he wants something.
5. walks with his little baby walker
6. plays little games with chris and i: clicking of our tongue, touching forehead (we call it the topel-topel game, which was started by his abueyla Ilse), breathing out of his nose and pointing head up.
7. dances to music
8. has a favorite toy: a little stereo that he can turn the music on which was given by the Ostrow's. (that toy has really come in handy!!)

You know your baby has turned into a little boy when...

he crawls away for 30 seconds and when you go to see where he is, he's in the bathroom, holding onto the toilet, sticking his hand in the water.

Hayden Dancing!

We'll Do Just About Anything For A Laugh...

.....yes, that's Chris in there.

Hayden is eating real food.

Hayden is eating real people food. It's amazing. We give him little pieces of whatever we are eating and he just gobbles it up. He loves it so much that if he ever sees me eating, he starts whining, because he wants a piece as well. We now have breakfast together. I sit on the floor, eat a slice of toast and give him little bites. He's getting so big - like a real boy!

Our Big Night Out

Boy have things changed in the Young household. Instead of celebrating Chris' birthday with a big dinner and night on the town, we went to a 4.45 movie, dinner by 7 and in-bed asleep by 9.45. It was GLORIOUS!

Tushy In the Air...Like He Just Don't Care...

Hayden & Mom Playing!

First Time Hayden Says Mama??

Tricked you! I bet by the title you thought Hayden said "Mama" for the first time. Well, I don't think he has, but I'm really not sure. Hayden actually says "mama" all the time, but he doesn't realize that I am the "mama". I bet if you asked your parents when you first said "momma" or "dada", they'd give you a date or reference a book they took notes on for all your firsts. But I don't see how one would know when the first "momma" or "dada" actually happened. How will I know when Hayden says momma, he actually means ME(!) instead of baby babble?

Before becoming a parent everything seemed so cut and dry, but really it is not cut and it is not dry.There are many nuances to being a mom!

You Know It's Time to Baby Proof When....

your baby tries to stick his fingers into ever socket in the apartment.

your baby opens drawers and tries to use them to lift himself up

your baby is obsessed with doors and hinges

your baby has a radar that attracts him to every piece of furniture with sharp corner


ooops, gotta go, Hayden is making a beeline to the cable wires!

Swwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Video of Hayden Laughing and Having a Grand Ol Time!

Why Do Women Feel Like They Need to Do Everything?

My company brings in high level executives and CEO's to discuss topics on women in the workplace. One recurring theme is that all working mom's feel they are not accomplishing enough, both at home and at work. I, like most women suffer from this complex.

If I had more time I could accomplish more at my job and be a more attentive mom. It's a constant, day-to-day struggle on where to focus my attention. I try to be a great, amazing and engaging mom and I attempt to be great at my job.

My rational self knows I couldn't give Hayden any more love and I am lucky to work at a company that allows me to work from home several times a week, in a field I love no less.

However, that doesn't stop the little voice from creeping in. Could I have done better on that client call? Should I have gone on that business trip? Did the client care I got them a deliverable a day late because I had to run home to relieve the nanny? Do my bosses think I am slacking off? Does my team understand my shifting priorities and are they resentful?

Ultimately, I need to find peace in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can. I can't compete with people that don't have kids. I don't need to work my way up the corporate ladder - I am in a perfect position that is financially rewarding and flexible. That my son, my little man, is growing and flourishing and I spend more time with him than most moms and more quality time than many stay at home moms. And every second I am with him is an absolute joy and I try to savor every moment, sadly putting him to bed at night, wishing I had a few more hours each day to play and watch him grow.

The errands around the house I never seem to have time for will just have to wait. The mail will lay unopened, the clothes in a pile-station near my bed and that will have to suffice and I won't, I REFUSE to feel an iota of guilt!

Thank you Shelly Lazarus for speaking with us today. You message resounded perfectly with me!

No Fear!

My crazy kid has no fear. He tried to crawl off the bed yesterday and stick his little fingers into a socket.

This morning I walked into his room and for the very first time he was standing in his crib. (Supposedly my father in-law saw him standing in his crib the day before, but it doesn't count until I see it!) Anyway, he was standing there giggling. Then, he let go. He simply let go of both hands and before I could stop him, he fell backwards. Thankfully unhurt since he narrowly missed the crib bars and just hit the mattress.

I've read that other kids cry when they stand up. They get upset that they can't figure out how to get down from the standing position - but my little dude?!?! no.. he just let's go without a care in the world on what will happen. I hope this isn't a prelude of things to come!

Vacation!! Outer Banks, NC

We were invited to rent a beach house with 4 other couples in North Carolina. We had an amazing time. I uploaded pictures from our vacation below.

Big Tooth.

I think in past blogs I forgot to mention my little guy's two bottom teeth came in. They are super cute. His top teeth are just breaking through and I was able to get a glimpse of one of them, and it looks enormous! Honest to G-d, I think Hayden is going to have an extra large front tooth. It was fun having the cutest baby ever for a short period of time. Once this big tooth grows in, it's all downhill!

He Changed!

My boy changed. We spent the weekend together and he went from baby to older baby - all in one weekend! He can understand what I say and respond in kind.

When I say, "clap, clap, clap" he claps! When I say, "bye bye" he claps! Okay, well the second one wasn't a great example, but you get the idea.

Hayden's First Crawl!! (....i think....)

Babbling.

Bonzai Hayden Playing With String

New Accomplishments.

It's that time again, Hayden's new accomplishments!

1. He is going to crawl any minute now! He gets on his knees and rocks back and forth. Currently he puts one knee forward then falls onto his belly. In a few days/weeks, I'm sure he'll be off & running, I mean crawling.

2. He holds onto my hands and pulls himself up to standing position. He also sits himself down then pulls himself back up and then he rocks back and forth. It seems like a boy thing to do.

3. New babbling - now with the letter G. ggggggg. It's cute and comes with lots of drool.

4. I occasionally think Hayden knows how to clap on command. Other times, I think I'm just imagining it.

5. He sleeps on his side now.

6. He has full control of his pacifier. When it falls, he finds it, picks it up & puts it in his mouth, the right way.

7. Sits for extended period of time without falling.

8. Continues to be the sweetest, happiest most adorable baby I have ever seen!

Hayden Is Growing Too Fast.

I'm mad. Steaming, boiling mad. My guy is almost 8 months old. How can this be!? Where did the time go?!?

I feel like it was yesterday that he rolled over for the first time. It was just a short few months ago that I first met him. I try to hold onto every moment. I spend as much time as I can with him, and yet, it's not enough. For instance, where did last month go!? This is not fair!

Hayden's First Haircut.

I did it. I cut Hayden's hair. It was a long time coming, that kid had a comb over to rival Donald Trump's. At fist, I thought I needed to arm myself with the flooby in order to give the right haircut, but I took at shot & am quite impressed at the outcome. I'm a natural.

The Perfect Moment....

My favorite place is at the beach. I love to feel the sun on my skin & sand between my toes while reading a great book. Add in my favorite guys & it's pure bliss.

The perfect moment happened this weekend, at the beach in Bridgehampton. It was a little chilly under the umbrella, so I wrapped Hayden up in a towel and he fell asleep in my arms. We were facing the ocean, the water was greener that day with perfect waves that curled and crashed onto shore. All the while reading The Emperor's Children, a book I thoroughly enjoy. Chris was next to me, puttering around and soaking in the day. It was, truly, the perfect moment.

Mom Love.

There is nothing as special or as unique as mom love. Thus far, being a mom has been an absolute and utter joy.

When I was pregnant, a friend of mine with twins told me how much she loves being a mom.

Mom friend: I love every minute of being a mother

Me: really, every minute? every single minute? What about when you wake up in the middle of the night? What about when you clean up their poo?

Mom friend: yes, honest to god, every single minute. I simply love it.

You know what?? That is me! I enjoy every moment of being a mother. Every single moment. Since the day he was born, I feel like I was meant to be a mom. It simply fits.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Dr. Jekyll:

Mr. Hyde:

Life is Unfair.

I was looking at Hayden and realized his tushy is about half the size of his head. This afternoon I was looking at myself and realized my head is half the size of my tushy.

This Kid Is Hungry!

Love how Hayden opens his mouth so wide. Adorable.

Click on play button to start video.

Hayden Swimming & then Making out with Turtle.

First time in swing!

Hayden's first time in a swing. He didn't know to look up!

Do You Detect A Bit Of Attitude In This Photo??

Take a close look at this picture - do you see what I see? I detect a bit of attitude - see how his lip is ever so slightly turned? His eyes are saying, "mom, I don't have to do what you say!"Sadly I have a feeling I'll see this look a lot when he is a teen.

New Accomplishments.

My guy is growing so fast! List of recent developments:

1. repeats momma after me
2. rolls from front to back, back to front. Can get from one side of the room to the other.
3. can rotate on his belly to face in a different direction
4. sits for long periods of time without any support
5. cries when a toy is (or something he thinks is a toy) is taken away from him
6. can hold two toys at once (one in each hand)
7. can pass a toy from one hand to the other
8. continues to be his delightful, amazing, happy little self

I'm Going to Build More Liberals.

For years I've been struggling with the problem of having a republican majority in this country. Since Bush & co have made so many egregious errors, that majority is rapidly shrinking, but still, I think we need more liberals. I strongly believe that if we made politics interesting in school and focused on ideas rather than memorizing places & dates in history class, many of the so called Republican's would realize what being a Republican really means and they would become Liberal.

I also realize that probably isn't going to happen because our schools are struggling enough as it is. Therefore, I decided a sure-fire way to get more liberals is to build them! I'll just start building them and popping them out and I'm sure they will vote in the right party.

Hayden for President

I can't help it, I have high hopes for my boy. I feel like he is going to accomplish great things, like...well....he may be President. And by President, I mean President of the United States. I'd be first mom - and it would be glorious! I'd provide insight to his campaign platform and would help him develop foreign policy. He would thank me in his inaugural speech, saying something to the effect of, "without the love of my mom, I couldn't have achieved this." He would invite Presidents, Kings & Prime Ministers to our summer house and we'd entertain them & I would tell them charming stories about Hayden when he was a small boy. Chris & I would become philanthropists and... wait a minute - what am I doing, he could end up just being amazing and fantastic to me, which frankly, is the best outcome a mom could ask for.

Gas & Laugh

I was sitting with Hayden and he was giggling and farting at the same time. I couldn't figure out if he was farting because he was laughing or laughing because he was farting. Either way, it was cute.

Ahhhh Poop

It's true, being a parent means you deal with a lot of poop. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT! Since Hayden started on solids (i.e. pureed fruits and veggies) he poos every time he eats. Every time. That's a lot of poo people!

Many times his poo doesn't fit in his diaper and it goes right up his back. This has happened more times than I can count. When I look at my little guy, I see a sweet, adorable, intelligent baby, although if you spent a significant amount of time with him you'd probably just see a poop machine.

My Secret Wish.

My secret wish is that Hayden becomes friends with a celebrity's child. They would meet in the playground and quickly become buds. This is how my blossoming relationship with celebrity would go:

Encounter #1:
celebrity: what a beautiful boy! And look at how our kids get along, it is adorable.
me: yours too - gorgeous hair. and they really are having fun - oh, look how your daughter is teaching my son how to climb the jungle gym. Precious.
celebrity: my daughter's name is Violet, and yours?
me: Hayden, and I'm Allison
celebrity: I'm Jennifer, nice to meet you. We actually have to leave, hope to see you soon.

Encounter #2:
celebrity: oh, hi again. look, our kids are playing together again! do you always come to the park at this time?
me: yes, we try to go after music class on Mondays, Wednesdays & Friday's.
celebrity: me too, except Violet has riding lessons every Friday. I live in the neighborhood if you want to get the kids together one day after school.
me: I'd love to. I also live close by so we can switch apartments. Let me check my schedule to see what days work for me and I'll get back to you. What's your number?
celebrity: why don't I take your number? I've had some trouble with stalkers recently and had to change it. Silly me, I don't even remember my new number!

Encounter #10:
celebrity: Hey, since we get along so well, maybe we should do a double date with our husbands. Let me check with Ben to get his schedule.
me: Sounds fab. I've been dying to check out that new Greek place, I'll make reso's.

Encounter #50:
celebrity: oh no! Ben can't make it to the oscar's this year and my mom has strep. Would you be interested in going with me?
me: would i?!!

it goes on and on from there....

On The Road......

I started traveling again and I can't wait to get home to my little guy. I'm sitting in the airport watching video of my little dude. I'm so excited to see him tomorrow morning when he wakes up!

My Boy HATES Green Beans!

He hates green beans, but really after eating homemade apples, sweet potatees and butternut squash, who can blame him?! Video shows his reaction to the beans - my boy has a flair for the theatrics.

If Only I Was A Lesbian!

Before you straight men get any funny ideas, I don't mean it in that way.

If I was gay, I'd have my partner have my next three kids. Now that I've been through the experience of pregnancy, I'm glad I did it, but I don't need to do it again. We'd go to the sperm bank and pick the guy with the most hair and highest IQ. I'd sit back and watch my partner's belly grow, get nauseous for several months, pee 3 times a night and let's not for get the conclusion - push a 8lb child out of her na-na. Knowing me, I'd be ever so envious of the attention she was getting, but I think I'd be able to get over that hurdle.

OMG! Hayden Is Talking!

This is amazing. My little guy, not even six months old, is talking. He repeats me when I say mamamama. He is truly a boy-genius.

I'm Mad!

I entered Hayden in a contest to be on the cover of a baby magazine. They were going to contact all finalists by 5/31. I was not contacted.

How were overlooked? I can't believe it. Hayden is the cutest child ever made, and for this magazine to snub us really makes this momma mad. This is the photo I entered. How could they have missed it!?

More About Mom Love.

What I'm coming to realize is that Mom's are extremely vulnerable. They give birth to this little thing, that they love more than anything in the entire world, and because of that love they are open to pain if god forbid something happens to their baby.

I watched Oprah the other day, about a mom who lost her little girl in a car accident - hit by a drunk driver. Watching this tore me up and broke my heart. I can't stop thinking about it and the awful pain this mother goes through everyday.

The love I feel for my little guy is more than I ever thought I could feel. It is overwhelming and because my love for him is so intense, I can't help but get scared that something could happen and we'd all fall apart. It's amazing how such a little guy, whose only been around for six months can capture our hearts in this fashion.

A Day In The Life Of My Crazy, Happy, Little Dude.

I've Officially Turned Into An Old Lady

To prove my point:

1. I fall asleep around 8:30-9pm.
2. Drunk from 2.5 glasses of wine
3. When invited to a birthday dinner at an expensive restaurant, I can't help but compare the bill to a week's worth of groceries.
4. My own mom, (i.e. a grandma) stays out later than me
5. My outfits all look dumb and silly on my old lady/new mom body

Big Armed

As Hayden grows, I've needed to favor my stronger, right arm when holding him. Every day, I can feel my right arm grow ever stronger as he moves and wiggles around, which requires more and more effort on my part to hold him. I have this vision of my right arm growing bigger, and I mean noticably bigger than my left. Like the guy in Lady in the Water who only worked out one arm. This guy: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0452637/Ss/0452637/379.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0452637

Could I turn into him?

The Biggest Poop I've Ever Seen.

Hayden was constipated and didn't poop for a few days. I was told to give him prune juice to help move things along. It worked.

He had the biggest poo I have ever seen. Ever. Thank god my friend (and fellow new mom) was over who came into Hayden's room when I was changing him. She saw me standing, paralyzed in fear as I stared at his open diaper, with poo all over his legs, feet, belly, back. I didn't know what to do or where to begin. There was poo everywhere! And Hayden was kicking his legs around, having fun, squishing poo on the changing table. Lauren, (new mom friend) jumped in, threw away his diaper, took off his clothes, folded the dirty part of the changing table cover and turned on the bath. Truly, if Lauren wasn't there, I'd still be at the changing table, staring at my brown son.

Mom Love.

Being a mom is the very best job in the world. It is rewarding, fun and exciting. I love it!! I love it more than anything I've ever done, or could do or want to do. It is simply the best.

In fact, I love it so much I've even considered buying a burka and moving to the Middle East so I can have twelve kids without anyone looking at me funny.

New Mom's Group

I can't believe I failed to mention My New Mom's Group in past blog entries. Here goes:

When Hayden was born, I was lucky enough to join a New Mom's Group, run by my Pediatrician. Six new mom's met once a week to discuss new baby things, like, sleeping, eating, pooping, and new mom things like, exhaustion, newfound confidence in motherhood, and undescribable & overwhelming baby love. It was hosted by our pediatrician Dr. Silverblatt and a Therapist, Barbara. During my maternity leave, they were my lifeline to the outside world. During the bleak days of winter, and the sleepless nights of maternity, I had an appointment once a week to discuss all things baby and the emotions that go with it. It was the best thing I could have done, and I felt incredibly lucky to have these other women to talk to. And, to see your Pediatrician weekly, that was a huge, enormous plus as well. Whenever I see a mom in my neighborhood with a brand, new baby, I always stop and tell them about our group and how fantastic it was. Thank you Dr. Silverblatt!!

I loved it so much, my dad is going to start a similar group at his practice.

My First Mother's Day!

I can't tell you how excited I am to have another holiday devoted to me. This year I went shopping, bought myself a beautiful necklace, had it wrapped and gave it to Chris telling him to give it to me on mother's day. It was great! I may take this approach every Mother's Day.

The other great thing about Mother's Day is that I didn't have to share Hayden with anyone! We had tons of relatives around and I barely let go of him. Since I can never get enough time with the little guy, this was pure bliss.

Rolling Over

My little dude rolled over two weeks ago, at 4.5 months. He is going to be a gifted athlete and genius! He was the best at tummy time and now he rolled over early from back to tummy. My boy!

I do feel badly when he rolls over because then he then gets stuck on his tummy. It's a one way roll only. It's a disappointing reward for doing something so spectacular.

Hayden Has An Unusually Large Head

You may wonder, why do I care if he has a large head. Well, I saw a child with an unusually small, thin head. I took one look at that kid and couldn't help but feel jealous over what must have been an easy delivery. That babies head was so small, I bet he just slipped out during delivery and she sauntered home the next day with her new baby. Hayden's head is big and perfectly round. For weeks after he was born, I couldn't help but look at my son and think, "you broke my vagina". Now that I'm healed, I take comfort in the fact that a large head equals a big brain.

More baby pics.

It's All About His Feet!

Hayden Giving up on Tummy Time!

Happy Birthday Grandma Sue!

Hayden Video: Trying solids for the first time!

Hayden Tying Solids! 3.25.07

Click on the image to open the album. Click on the images to start the video clips. He is trying solids, rice cereal for the first time. I think he had more rice cereral on his face, between his fingers, up his nose and on his bib than in his mouth. It was adorable.

Rumor has it, that babies that eat solids sleep better through the night. Crossing Fingers!

Hayden at 3mo In His Bumbo.

Video of My Little Dude.

I've finally stepped into the 21st century and have tons of Hayden video. I haven't figured out how to actually post it here, but you can click on the below link to access our video albums.

http://picasaweb.google.com/babybuilder

Each one of the images is a video album. Click on the pictures to open the album, then click on the subsequent pics to activate the video.

Enjoy!

Hayden Crying After We Took A Break From Feeding to Burp Him

You Know You're A Mom When....

you are to lazy to see if your baby has a dirty diaper, so you pick them up & smell their bottom instead.

Break from Regular Programming To Report:

Britney shaved her head. She is freaking me out.

New Hayden Developments.

I need to chart and map out all of Hayden's developments, so when people interview me about my genius child, I can point to the exact moment I realized it. Here they go.

1. He likes to talk. When he is really happy he makes these adorable cooing sounds. When I repeat it to him, he does it back to me. Sometimes I see him trying to make a sound, he watches my lips move, then he opens his mouth his tongue rolling around and then after a few seconds he makes a loud coo. It is adorable.

2. He is interested in toys!! He loves his mobile. He loves his activity mat. When I place him on his activity mat and shake it, he laughs and his entire body moves with excitement. His arms flail his legs kicks wildly.

3. He is discovering his hands. He is just learning this one. He briefly puts his hands in his mouth, sucking wildly on his knuckles delighted to have found them. Sadly, this only lasts for a few seconds before his arms flail about and he has to start over again a few seconds later.

He Giggled.

Hayden giggled for the first time this morning. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Real Tears

Did you know when babies are born they don't have tears? They cry and cry, their little faces get red, you can see their tongue vibrating, their bodies become tense, but no tears. nada. It somehow makes the cry seem not quite as bad.

Hayden recently developed tears and it is heartbreaking when he cries. To see a little teardrop fall down his face, I'll do anything to make it stop. I can just envision myself years from now being suckered into anything when he cries.

Hayden: mom, I want a pony!

Mom (aka ME!): No way Hayden. A pony is too much responsibility and they attract flies. You cannot have one. I repeat - no pony for you.

Hayden: wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaa. But I want a pony. I need a pony. (face turns red, tears start to well up and then roll down his face)

Mom: omg, Hayden are you crying? Are those real tears? Chris, he's crying with real tears! Fine, you can have ONE pony, but that's it! One.

Hayden: (immediately regains composure) starts skipping and dancing around me - Thanks Mom!

I'm going to be such a sucker!

Baby On A Sunday

I love this photo of Hayden. It paints the perfect picture of a lazy Sunday afternoon.

He is lounging on Chris, in PJ's at around 2pm in the afternoon. His onesie, that doesn't match is sticking out and diaper below hanging out even further. He has one sock on, one off. What can I say except this is "Baby on a Sunday"

MY Little Dude....

Crying During Typical Mom Moments

Every once in a while, I get the nagging feeling that I'm not reacting as I should in the classic 'mom moments'. For instance, I didn't cry when I heard Hayden's first cry after delivery. In fact, my delivery was such a blur, I don't even remember that moment. I also didn't cry when Hayden got his first shots. And, the really weird thing is that I am a crier and I hate shots!

Sometimes I think its really all Hayden's fault. He's so damn cute when he cries - how can I cry at a cute kid? Other times I think I'm strong - solid, like a rock!

For the record, so you don't think I'm heartless, I cried when I held him for the first time. Big old sloppy tears. And I cried a few hours after his shots when he cried for 45 minutes straight. That was tough on me. I also cried when he gave me his first smile at 3 weeks. It was the biggest, gummiest grin I've ever seen and it was aimed directly at me. And I cried through the first few weeks - every single time I held him thinking my heart was going to break apart because I love this kid so much. Okay, I guess I've done enough crying. Maybe I'm simply cried out?!?

A Bloody Miracle

Hayden slept through the night! Let me repeat: HAYDEN SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! There is a light at the end of this ridiculously sleep deprived tunnel.

He slept from 11-5:30 - straight. Naturally I woke up at 4, startled, wondering what in sam's hell is going on that he didn't wake me up to eat. I had to go to his crib and make sure he was still breathing. Needless to say, he was sleeping like an angel. Hope he can do it again tonight!

Shots!

Hayden got his first round of vaccines today, which included three shots. He was a champ and only cried for a bit. I was nervous, and to make the situation more heartbreaking than knowing he was about to get stabbed in the leg three times with a needle was that he was happy as a clam. He was smiling, cheerful and oblivious to the pain that was heading his way.

Shot one. He didn't flinch. Shot two and three however hurt him. I didn't actually see it, as I had Chris block my view, but I saw my little guys face go from happy-go-lucky to shock then horrified, then in pain and he finally ended mad. We snuggled him, and tried to calm him which didn't really work. Naturally we can give him all the love in the world but the only thing that stopped him from crying was a nip off the old bottle.

I'll tell you this: I'm never, ever doing shots without Chris.

You Know You're A New Mom When...

....you go to bed at 8:30. Nighty-night!

Hayden Life Is In Mortal Danger!

I almost ate him today. He was so cute I almost lost it! He was giving me this adorable smile, I almost took a big ol' bite out of him. Then, he did this funny face where is looks down which makes his cheeks pudgy and he pushes out his lips and I again almost went bizerk and took another bite out of him. If he gets any cuter I fear for him.

I'm working on getting a picture of him when he makes that silly face....

Like Father Like Son

Hayden takes after his dad - they both have tons of gas. Last night, Hayden was up from 4-6am with gas pains. Poor kid wakes up and squirms around, pushing as hard as he can to get out a fart. It's hard for him - he can't get them out! Unfortunately it is formula that causes the gas that's difficult to process and expel. I just feel so bad for the little guy when this happens.

My Mom's Version of Putting Hayden to Bed

My mom offered to put Hayden to sleep the other night. I was a little skeptical because she is so over-the-top in love with him she can't stop talking to him and trying to get him to smile. I finally relented and said, "sure mom, you can put him to bed, but remember, don't talk to him or it winds him up and he'll never fall asleep".

Fast forward 15 minutes. Chris walks by Hayden's bedroom and sees my mom not only talking to Hayden, "How much do I love you" but with a rattle in his ear! Poor kid couldn't sleep if he wanted to. So, I graded my mom and gave her a big fat "F" for putting him to sleep.

I'm treading on thin ice here by telling this story because my mom, since that time not only stopped doing that, but she even feeds him in the middle of the night when she sleeps over. I can't screw this arrangement up! LOVE YOU MOM!

Chris' Version of 'Babysitting'

Poop Diapers.

All those parents out there that said changing diapers isn't that bad were right. In fact, Hayden is sometimes at his very cutest when I am changing his diapers - he coo's at me and smiles - it's great.

I can do without the poopie diapers - his already stink, but it's really it's not that bad.

I Pick Hayden's Nose.

I'm not afraid to admit it - I pick Hayden's nose. When I see a little bat in the cave, I try to get it out. Who wants a kid with buggers? I guess I could use a q-tip, but he's my boy, who I created from scratch, so I feel it's somehow justified.

For all of you that are thinking I have cooties, I'll have you know I wash my hands obsessively throughout the day so any Hayden cooties I may have 'picked' up have been eliminated.

I'M LIKE THE FURNITURE

Now that Hayden is smiling, Chris and I are in constant competition to see who can make him smile more and bigger. I've lost.

I spend all day with Hayden making silly faces, singing and jumping around - anything for a smile. I only get the occasional smile. Chris, who only spends one hour with him a day walks into Hayden's room, talks in a cockney accent and Hayden not only smiles (ear to ear no less) but giggles! He says, "Hello luv" and Hayden lights up like a Christmas tree. After Chris left the room, I tried it, "Hello luv" and Hayden barely even made eye contact with me.

I complained to Chris who summed it up. He said I spend so much time with Hayden I've become like furniture. In Hayden's eyes it's like, o look, there is the couch, chair, rug, blond woman, phone, etc, etc, etc. All my love, time and attention I pay to this kid, and I've BECOME THE EQUIVALENT OF FURNITURE! A mother's love is always under appreciated.

Hippy Mom.

I never thought I'd be the kind of mom to have a sling. They are too hippy-dippy. Well, I got one, because my little guy likes to stay with me all day long and I want to keep him close but also get things done. Enter stage left - the sling. Anyway, Hayden looks adorable in it, and it's army green which I like.

First Smile.

Look at this face... need I say more?

Video Of The Biggest Moment In My Life - Cut Short For A Phone Call

Chris (the hub) and I decided to watch, (for the first time) the video of the moment I held Hayden in my arms. We made a big production of it, with Chris rewinding the video so I can be surprised and see it with 'fresh eyes'. It was a beautiful moment and I was thrilled Chris caught it on camera. I was crying and crying, overcome with emotion, and trying really hard to smile for pictures. Then suddenly, after about 10 seconds the video stopped and you hear Chris answer the phone and say 'Oh, hey man' and then BOOM! The video is OVER!! O-V-E-R.

The biggest moment in my life, that we both wanted on video was cut short so Chris could answer the phone when one of his buddies called. We didn't tape the birth, I mean, who wants to watch that?! But this moment - THE MOMENT I hold Hayden, the child I built for 10 months was only captured for ten....very short....seconds. So sad.

When we were watching the video together last night Chris said, "wait. did I just stop video taping to answer the phone?". I was too shocked to say anything....

These Are The Moments I Cherish

My Husband is Obsessed With Work - He is Trying To Brand Hayden with E*TRADE logo

As you can see, Hayden is NOT happy about it!

Hayden on Hayden Crime

It was awful. This morning I saw Hayden commit a heinous crime against himself. As I was changing his diaper (yes, I now change diapers!), he started crying. This is unusual because I believe Hayden knows that a diaper change is always a good thing - it airs out his parts and he gets cleaned up and dried. Therefore, he never cries during a diaper change. As I was saying, he started to cry - and loudly. And that is when I saw it - he had his hair in his hand, in the tightest grasp I've seen thus far. He was unknowingly pulling on his hair - and hard!

I jumped in, and made sure his hand was as close to his head as possible to reduce the pull, but I couldn't get him to open up his little hand and release his hair. The thing is, he didn't know that his own hand was causing that pain! It was horrible. I eventually got his hand open and saved the day. Such is life as a super-mom.

First Christmas!

We celebrated our first Christmas with Hayden. It was slightly anticlimatic for him since he was sleeping when we opened his gifts. However, I have to say he got some great gifts!! This kid is going to be so spoiled! What I thought was funny is that Chris wrapped a gift that said, "To: Mom, From: Hayden". When I saw it, I thought it was for Chris' mom. It took me a few hours before it dawned on me, that I AM THE MOM. THAT GIFT WAS FOR ME,You know Hayden's mom! Here is the gift.

First Bath!

We did it! We gave our dirty little boy his first bath. I have to say, it wasn't that bad. Well, it wasn't so bad for Chris and I, Hayden was another story.....

Please note: I had a picture here of Hayden's first bath. This was a naked picture of him, showing allllllllll this little bits and pieces. Needless to say, I know that teenage boys hate it when they have naked pictures of them in their parents photo album. I can only imagine how they feel when these pictures are on the internet - for the world to see. To save Hayden the humiliation, I took down the photo.

Hayden: please note, you owe me one for this. I will cash in one day. love - mom.

The Baby Nurse Left!

O dear god, the baby nurse left a few days ago and Chris and I are losing it. Our baby nurse did the night feedings (10:30 and 2:30am), washed Hayden, dressed him, changed his poopy diapers and prepared his bottles. Without her, Chris and I are exhausted, we feed Hayden late and we have, to be frank a dirty baby. I realized yesterday that we didn't change Hayden out of his pajamas until 6pm and he is breaking out in baby acne. We are falling apart!

The good news is that I can raise my little guy without anyone telling me how to do it. And my version of child care includes holding my son in my arms all day, soaking up all possible cuddle time.

Mom Vacation!

I didn't realize it, but I was on mom vacation! The baby nurse that we hired for two weeks did all of Hayden's night feedings - the 10:30pm and 2am. She changed his diapers, did his laundry, prepared his bottles and took him out for walks. What did I do!? I gave him love and lots of it! I got to snuggle with him and stare at him and chat and sing to him. It was great.

Mom vacation is O-V-E-R! The baby nurse left and Chris and I (mostly I!) are doing everything and the night feedings are a nightmare. I really don't mind all the other stuff - but I need my sleep.

Can A New Mom Write A Funny Blog?

Since Hayden arrived I've had trouble being funny. I've spent the last two weeks crying every time I look at him. He is such a sweet, beautiful little boy and I can't believe he is my baby. My little baby boy!! My boy that I need to protect and love and teach all the things life had to offer!

All the thoughts I had about being a mom have completely turned around. Before I saw him I thought, 'what are the least amount of Hayden's sporting events I need to attend and still be considered a good mom?' Now I think, 'I must attend all of Hayden's events'!

I've been in new mom la-la land, walking around in a daze with only one thought - I LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HE IS MY LITTLE BABY! This is the little guy that I spent 10 months thinking about, dreaming about, talking about, blogging about. This is Hayden and god, do I love him!

New Photo:

HAYDEN IS HERE!

Hi everyone! I am so happy to announce that I finally met my little boy! After all that waiting and waiting and endless chatter to my belly I finally met my little guy for the first time on Thurs, 12/7 at 3:41pm.

Drum roll pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase! Introducing, the fab-u-licious HAYDEN EDWARD YOUNG!!!!!!! He was born 7 lbs 1.8oz and 18 inches. I can't believe he wasn't a monster baby! Every single inch of him is adorable and sweet as a button. I am madly in love with this little guy.

As for my regular blog readers (hi mom!), you'll be happy to know delivery was pretty darn easy. I was in labor for about 8 hours from first contraction to holding Hayden in my arms. I had the best night's sleep the night before and went into labor around 7am. I could not have done this whole baby thing without my anesthesiologist team. They are my hero's. I love them almost as much as Hayden. I could dedicate an entire blog to the miracles of modern science and pain killing drugs if only I didn't have so many feedings a day. Anyway, the delivery was a little rough. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Hayden's neck and he was in distress. We had to get him out pronto to avoid any damage to his brain so we ended up doing, the dreaded and feared forceps delivery. After going through that, I have to say, it looks a hell of a lot worse than it feels. It really was no big thing. I got an extra dose of drugs, and they pulled him out. Easy.

Gotta run, the little guy doesn't want to go to bed! More to come, I promise!

First Trip To The Pediatrician.

We took Hayden to the Pediatrician three days after he was born. Aside from getting him home from the hospital this was our very first trip outside. Our Pediatrician is about a seven minute walk from our apartment, but to us, with our new precious baby, it felt like the longest walk across the busiest streets where danger lurked at every corner.

In retrospect we probably looked crazy. Every car that passed we'd yell, "slow down - there is a baby!" or "watch where you are going buddy!". We were scared we'd fall victim to senior driving - you know, where a little blue haired lady in an enormous Cadillac from the 80's would accidentally hit the gas instead of the break. Or the man walking his dog would drop the leash and the dog would jump on the stroller. Or the stroller would get away from us and go careening down the street. Or the bumps in the pavement would somehow damage Hayden. The list goes on.

Needless to say, we made it to the Pediatrician in one piece, although our nerves were frazzled.

hayden"s comin

Waiting and Waiting and Waiting!

I'm seriously ready for this child. I never in a million years thought I'd look forward to labor, but that is exactly where I'm at right now. I want to meet this kid already!

I saw the doctor yesterday who said he looks like a happy/healthy child. He was active and moving around, has plenty of amniotic fluid (aka breakfast, lunch and dinner - I think. Wait, then what is the umbilical cord for? I just confused myself...) for him to hang out in for a while. So, if he does take his sweet time at least he's in a good house and hopefully won't need intervention, which can cause complications.

And most importantly, she said I may not have an enormous baby - it may just be all the fluid. Thank goodness.

Come on labor!

I Wish I Was A Marsupial.

Marsupial mom's have it good. They give birth to this tiny little speck, who then crawls up their fur to a little pocket where they grow, outside the womb. The baby nurses for months and I bet the mother loses that baby weight real fast since she is nursing so early.

How hard can it be to give birth to a speck!? I wish I was a marsupial.

I'm Old.

I was watching the Real World on MTV last night, (which by the way is now like soft porn) and one of the cast members, who is about 20ish, used the term 'Emo'. He said something to the effect of, "when I am Emo, I just want everyone to get along and I say things to please people instead of simply saying what's really on my mind."

I never heard the term Emo before. In fact, I thought he made it up. Then, Chris, my equally old husband told me that he heard that term recently from a younger member of his team - (shout out Janet). I couldn't believe it! I'm so old that I don't even understand what people on the Real World are talking about and, I'm so lame that I continue to watch this show every week and think to myself, "dear god, what do these kids mother's think."

to find out more about Emo link here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_%28slang%29

Hayden Must Be Gigantic!

This is me and my insane belly at 8 months. I am now, as of today 10 months preggo! That means, I've grown even more than in this photo. I'm 100% convinced I am housing and feeding an unusually large baby.

I sometimes feel like the mother of many obese kids. You know the moms who feed their kids sweets, pizza and burgers all day long and then wonder how their kids hit 200lbs at 10 years old. Well, that's me and I am going to pay when I pop this kid out.

Dreams...

I just realized that I haven't had any pregnancy dreams. None. Zippo. I always hear that pregnant women literally dream of being mothers. Why haven't I?

I want to know: am I doomed to be a bad mother if I never dream of being one? I had dreams of walking down the aisle before my wedding. I dream about my dogs all the time (even had one last night about Wheatie who I took for a long walk on the greenest grass you ever saw). I dream of work.

But not a single dream of pregnancy or motherhood. What is wrong with me?! Maybe because I do so much daydreaming about motherhood, I don't need to dream at night? Or maybe it's due to this damn blog! I bet that since I am 'oh so expressive' here, I don't need to dream about it. Yeah, that must be it. It's not that I'm deficient or anything - it's the blog.

I'm ready.

What more can I say? I'm ready! I want to see this kid... like now. Chris and I have had enough "oh my god, this could be our last date night!" to last a lifetime.

I also took a week off of work and I'm somewhat dreading it. What am I going to do for a WEEK at home? I'm not entirely mobile so it's not like I can trip the light fantastic all week. I'm basically sitting around waiting to go into labor and to top it off, I'm out of new netflix movies. There is only so much Martha Stewart one girl can take!

I'm going to try to go into labor tonight by willing this little bugger out of me.

Made It Through Thanksgiving!!

Phew, I made it through Thanksgiving without going into labor. I avoided the dreaded skeleton crew at the hospital.

The night was great, with my families (Nussbaum's and Young's) and a surprise visit from Grandma, who is staying over until le bebe arrives. At the beginning of the night, my dad and husband were sitting on the couch, watching TV, while all the women were in the kitchen. That tradition ends here! And, naturally, I told everyone in the room, made a big stink about it until the men got up and did more cooking and cleaning than the ladies - GOOD JOB MEN!

Baby Email Announcement: Do I Have Approval Rights?

So, I mentioned last night that my boss had a little girl. Her husband sent out an email note saying, "they were over the moon with excitement". It was very sweet. Most email announcements say something to the effect of, "baby x was born at x weight and inches. Mother & baby doing well". It's a SNOOOZE!

I suspect that Chris will write the snoozer email. He's a great writer, but when it comes to something emotional, he goes in the opposite direction and just provides the facts. I asked him to practice the email so I can review and approve it, but he refuses. If I were writing it, which I kind of want to: I'd say something like:

Subject: OMG! I HAD A BABY!
Body of Email: EVERYONE, HAYDEN IS HERE! HE IS BEAUTIFUL AND WE ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM, EVEN THOUGH HE PUT ME THROUGH HELL GETTING OUT!! HAYDEN IS 8lbs & 21". WE CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL OF YOU TO MEET HIM!

--notice a few things:
1. Everything in CAPS, because I'm so excited I'm yelling.
2. Exclamation points everywhere!!!!
3. Subject is all about me... because really, I have to take advantage of every last second I can be the star.

My Boss Had A Baby!

My boss (Ruth) was due exactly seven days after me. For the past 6 months we've shared in our pregnancy: giving tips, updates on how we felt, the ups and downs, etc.

Well, I'm excited to announce she had a beautiful little baby girl on Friday - Leah. We knew when she was coming, (scheduled c-section), but when I got the email announcement, I cried.

Her pregnancy, in my mind, goes hand-in-hand with my own. Knowing Ruth got through it all and has such a beautiful baby girl, makes me so excited for my own as well.

I couldn't be happier for you!

New Biggest Fear!

Okay, so this scenario keeps playing through my head. I go into labor on Thanksgiving. Doesn't sound so bad does it? I'd have my family here, everyone would be excited, I'd have my mom to lean on (no one is better at making me feel okay than my mom). Picturesque, right?

Wrong! I realized, suddenly that if I went into the hospital on Thanksgiving they'd probably have a skeleton crew. The nurses that are supposed to dote on me would be with some other laboring woman (in what would appear to them!), worse shape than me. But I have a lower tolerance to pain, and a higher need for attention and sympathy - so my simple pregnancy will require a lot of attention.

Most importantly, with a skeleton crew, how long will I have to wait for my epidural? Instead of a 30 minute wait, maybe I'd have to wait an hour or TWO or LONGER... oh dear lord.

New goal: keep baby inside me until after Thanksgiving.

Earmuffs!

For the record, one of the things that I haven't written about, but have wanted to, is all the gross and humiliating experiences associated with pregnancy. Because my family and co-workers read this blog, I'll refrain. I just wanted you to know that gross and humiliating things are happening to me.

That's all.

Due Date Update.

I knew he had it too cushy in there! Zero progress from last week. Maybe I should stop eating all the good stuff like chocolate and chicken parm and move to steamed broccoli and granola.

I'm Going To Have This Kid Soon!

I am 1 centimeter dilated and 70% effaced. What does that mean? I'm not exactly sure, except my body is prepping to eject this kid from my womb. I feel bad because Hayden's had it really good in there. I kind of imagine it like a cushy little waterbed with a built in food system. He gets to eat in bed - and believe me, he's eating better now than he will when he leaves.

Childbirth Class Take 3.

This was the very best childbirth class yet. I didn't go!

I had a party to attend, so I skipped class while Chris went in my place. He took copious notes that even his classmates commented on. Chris learned how to swaddle a baby, wash the baby, diaper (no talcum powder!), and all about projectile diarrhea, (yes, projectile diarrhea).

I’ll take this opportunity to give props to my man. Chris has truly stepped up the past few weeks. He put together Hayden's bassinet, bought a new camera, packed our bags for the hospital and submitted our registration information. What am I doing you may ask?? Never forget, I am building the baby.

Childbirth Class: Take 2.

Okay, I reluctantly went back to childbirth class. Hated it! I had to sit for two hours and listen to every possible complication a delivering woman can go through.
- Foreceps
- Vacuum extraction
- Breeched babies
- Labor followed by c-section
- Emergency c-section
- The sensation of scooping a child out of your womb when having a c-section
- The advice to bring clothes to the hospital that you'd ever want to wear again because you'll probably gush blood and goo all over them. Even days after delivery!

Bottom line: these are things I Do Not Need To Know.

The class was followed by a trip to the nursery - so we can see "the prize". We saw a 5 lb little girl, cute as a button. I was ready to walk out the door with that kid.

It was better than the first class when we saw a 10lb baby. That kid was born only a few hours before, but looked like his parents abandoned him several months earlier and he was about six months old. As long as Hayden stays small, I think I can do this.

Can I Keep My White Apartment White With A Baby?

Just moved into my new place about a month ago and I keep decorating in shades of white, cream and baby blue. My strategy was to only get furniture that is slip covered so I can wash the white when it gets dirty.

I was confident this was a FOOL-PROOF plan - until - I had a child over. Sienna, my god-daughter who is almost two came over for a visit. The first thing she did when she walked in the door was look at my perfectly placed books on my perfectly placed bookshelves, and wham - they were in disarray before I could say, "Oh, it's okay, I don't mind".

What did we order for dinner you may ask?? Spaghetti with red sauce. Sienna, sat on her mom's lap, who to her credit did a great job of not letting a single strand of spaghetti drop to the floor. Malissa (mom) was vigilant. I couldn't believe it - we got through spaghetti without a single stain!

....then dessert came....chocolate ice cream.....oy......

She stuck her hand into the ice cream cup and took out a big chunk of chocolate, gooey ice cream, and then walked away. We couldn't reach her. I was paralyzed with fear.

Not only fear for that very moment and the impending stain, but I suddenly saw very clearly what the next, ooooh, saaaay, 15 years of my life were going to be like: fighting like hell to keep my beloved home stain free. Oy.

Baby Nurse or Mom?

So, my plan for bringing Hayden home went like this:

- Baby nurse for two weeks, then have mom stay with us.

Oh, for those that aren't aware a baby nurse = someone that stays with le bebe 24/7 when you get home from hospital. They do all night feedings and teach new parents things like (bathing baby, changings, dealing with belly button and circumcision, clipping nails, etc.)

- Then it changed because my mom really wanted to stay with us, so I decided against baby nurse because I don't have room for a mom and a nurse.

- Then my mom was like, we should get a nurse. Then I was like no, we have you!

- Then I realized, I want a nurse, no, I NEED a nurse - someone to watch Hayden at night. Did you know they need to be fed EVERY TWO HOURS! I will loose my mind and divorce my husband if I am up every two hours.

Final, final verdict: we are getting a baby nurse who sleeps in Hayden's room taking care of him at night for two glorious, sleep filled nights so my mom, husband AND I can sleep in peace.

Brilliant Or Incredibly Dumb?

My husband has a group of friends that are pregnant or have kids. They had this idea to rent a house for a week over the summer and bring all the kids (ranging in age from a few months to 2 yrs).

Chris and I signed up, and are really excited. However, I realize that in my naiveté, I may have just signed up for a week of sheer hell with about 6 infants and 2 toddlers. Hayden is not included in this of course because he'll be perfect.

Check! Babies Room Done.

Window treatments were just installed - and Hayden's room is complete. I can have a baby in peace now!

Check out his adorable little room! I love it so much, I want to move in... think he'll mind?

Childbirth Class.

I'm in biiiiiig trouble. I got faint in childbirth class. The really scary thing is that she wasn't even talking about labor and delivery - but about the epidural. Then, when she got to labor and the "transition period" I nearly lost it - so I left and sat down in the cool hallway to get some much needed air.

I'm not sure I really want to take this class anymore. Just give me the drugs and tell me when to push.

I've Been Replaced!

I was always the apple of my parents eyes. My sister as well, but we'll just focus on me, because it is my blog. As I was saying, my parents think I'm the funniest, prettiest, kindest, smartest person in the world. It's a great feeling!

I sent my parents two thank you cards after the baby shower. One from me, that was long and heartfelt, thanking them for all they've done for me my entire life. The other note was from Hayden that was cute and basically said, "Grandma & Grandpa: thank you so much for the crib! Can't wait to meet you! Hayden"

My mom called me to tell me how she LOOOOOOVED Hayden's thank you card. I said, "Mom that's great - glad you liked it! Did you also get the thank you card from me? You know the one that went on and on about how much I love you and how appreciative I am of having such great parents?" My mom was like, "Oh that, yeah we got that. But Hayden's card is really so great! I love it! It's on the fridge!"

I realized then and there, I've been replaced in my parents eyes by Hayden.

Can Mom's Be Cool?

I always thought the answer was 'YES! Mom's can in fact be cool!' I always thought the reason I never saw a cool mom (ever!***) is because they didn't get it. They were simply too wrapped up in baby stuff and diapers to care about what is cool like, buying that cool new outfit or throwing caution to the wind and wear, *gasp* heels.

Well, I'm smack in the middle of my third trimester (8.5 months) and I have turned from cool pregnant to yoga pant wearing, new balance sporting, all black all the time comfort clothes. Honestly, nothing fits! And the very last thing I want to do is see myself in a department store mirror as I buy new fashionable clothes to fit my very unfashionable frame. So, my point is this: I look like crap and I'm going to start my new life as a mom on this bad clothes trend. I'm doomed to loserville before I even began.


*** For the sake of a few cheap laughs, I said I've never seen a cool mom. I must caveat that all my friends who are mom's think they are cool, so I don't want to offend them by letting them know they are not. So, for all my mom friends out there - you are cool! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! (even though you talked me out of using a marc jacobs pocketbook as diaper bag and wanted me to decorate in all denim because it doesn't stain and live in the upper most part of the upper east side to be close to the nanny and get drunk just looking at red wine!) You are still hot girlfriends - ROCK ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES!!

So, What Is It Like At The OBGYN?

I'll provide a little update on my last OBGYN apt.

Dr. Goodstein: Hi Allison. How are you feeling? Anything new?

Allison: Feeling really good. Surprisingly good. Although, I do have a question.

Dr. Goodstein: Okay, shoot.

Allison: Welllllllll, I was wondering if there were any medical advances in labor and delivery since my last visit. Liiiike, wellll, maybe labor is a step I can skip in this process?

Dr. Goodstein: Hmm, no, don't think so. What exactly were you thinking?

Allison: Um, well. You know how on Star Trek they can beam people from the ship to the planet? Well, I was hoping someone can beam Hayden out of me on my due date. No mess, no fuss, no pain.

Dr. Goodstein: No. Don't think we've come that far yet. Any other ideas?

Allison: Well, the whole stork method wouldn't be bad, although I don't know if I'd trust my newborn to a bird. But, it may still be a better option than labor & delivery.

Dr. Goodstein: Laughing. (more like a giggle fit...)

Allison: A few more questions, like, (yada, yada - all boring).

Dr. Goodstein: Okay Allison, well, it was good to see you. Anything else?

Allison: Just wanted to let you know that this pregnancy has been really positive for me. I feel good, although I've certainly had my moments. The most surprising thing is that my husband and I, who I've always been close to, are even closer and have fallen deeper in love. We have so much to look forward to.

Dr. Goodstein: Wow! That is so sweet I want to cry. This has been a great appointment, you made me laugh & cry. What a day. Thanks Allison!

Allison: Oh, no. Thank you!

Dear God, I Saw A Real Live Labor

So, I went to the OBGYN the other day, which is in a regular doctor's office - not a hospital. Anyway, as I'm sitting, waiting to be called, I hear screaming coming from down the corridor. My head snaps up to listen, as do all of the other ladies in the office. We hear it again. We now turn ghostly white and our eyes are huge; clearly we are terrified.

A lady comes out of the corridor, and I say, "what is going on down there!?” She says she brought her friend in who was in labor. She explains, her co-worker, (not even friend) was in labor at the office and decided to go the Shake Shack to grab a burger and milkshake. She stood on the Shake Shack line for about an hour, in labor, huffing and puffing waiting for her burger. She ate the burger, drank the milkshake and then hopped on the subway to go to hospital. By the time they got on the subway, Labor Lady realized she was much farther along than she anticipated (because she was more focused on burger & milkshake than impending motherhood). She gets to the subway and decides she is closer to the OBGYN than hospital so she heads to OBGYN. (I can’t even think about why she didn’t hail a cab).

Okay, now, here I am, the most pregnant person in the room, listening to his women screaming her head off - about to have a baby. The nurses are running around. The doctors and running around. And all the ladies in the waiting room are freaking out and staring at me, like I’m about to go any moment as well. Like labor is contagious.

The paramedics show up. They have a gurney and wheel it through the waiting room. I am thinking to myself, "Oh, Holy Mother Of God, I am about to see a woman in labor. I can't believe it. A real live woman in labor! I don't want to see this!!" But I do. I really want to see her.

Annnnyyyywaaaaay, as soon as they are about to wheel this crazy woman out, I hear, "Allison Young". The one lone nurse on duty called MY NAME for my monthly weigh and to put me in my room so I can wait for the doctor. I'm so annoyed! Now I'm not going to see Labor Lady. But, I don’t put up a fight, I just go. As soon I get to the room I hear cheering and clapping. And I run out, "it's a boy!" The ladies in the waiting room are crying. Then I hear, "Allison Young" and I say, “I don't want to go - this is where the action is!” And they give me a look like I’m five and say, tell me to go back to my room. So I do. Five minutes pass, no doctor. Then I hear, clapping again! I run out. They just wheeled the burger/milkshake eating mom out, with her five minute old baby. I can't believe it - I missed it again!

Hayden's Hiccups.

I felt Hayden hiccuping for the first time two nights ago. It was adorable. Every few seconds my tummy would do a little jump. It's such a little thing, but it really warmed my heart.

It was super-cute and I can't wait for him to arrive!

To Buggaboo?

There is this phenomenon in NYC called, "The Buggaboo". Simply put, it's a $900 stroller and it comes in Kelly Green. Well, it also comes in other colors, but who cares because Kelly Green is the best color.

In NYC, trends come, catch on and are almost impossible to avoid. The Buggaboo is not about being a better stroller (although the owners claim it is), it is about keeping up with the Joneses.

Like, when I got engaged: is my diamond ring bigger than yours? Is my pocketbook Marc, Fendi or Chloe? Is my push present bigger/better than yours? Frankly, I am sick of it! I may have fallen into the trap with engagement ring (2ct), bags (mine's ferragamo) and the push present (more diamonds!) but I REFUSE to fall into the Buggaboo trap. I will not do it!

Seven Weeks Left!

As of yesterday, I am officially 33 weeks pregnant, which means in seven weeks I will have a real, live baby living in my house, expecting me to change his diaper, change his clothes, sing songs to put him to sleep and convert my glorious newly enlarged boobs to breakfast, lunch and dinner....

Oh, and let's not forget the pushing a 7lb child out of my na-na. I am really excited for Hayden, and the more real it becomes the more labor becomes less of a concern. Do not get me wrong: I am concerned, deeply concerned. Simply writing about it makes my heart beat faster and palms sweat, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I simply cannot bring a baby home without mind-boggling pain. However, I will have an epidural and my doctors SWEAR it won't run out like it did for that woman on TV, so I think I'll somehow survive.

Dad as a Doctor

So, my entire life I've been blessed and cursed to have a Dad as a doctor.

The Blessings: I have someone that actually knows what he is talking about when diagnosing my little ailments. I never had to harass my real doctor about aches & pains and I never had to wait on line at doctor's office, which means I've saved countless hours doing things I want to do, instead of sitting next to sick people.

The Curse: He thinks I am a pain in the ass and complain about little things that are dumb. In addition, I am a true baby when it comes to things like shots. I got a flu shot last night and had a mini-freak out thinking about the needle. God only knows how I will handle labor.

One time, (and no Dad, I will never let you live this down!) I was skiing, fell and broke my arm. The entire bone broken. Broken in two! My dad saw me lying on the ground, writing in pain, unable to ski, and he was all like, "oh get up, don't be such a baby, you can ski down the mountain!"

So, now, I have Hayden on the way, and I am THRILLED to have a Pediatrician as a Dad. Will I drive him crazy? You betchya! Do I care? Not one iota.

Bad Blogger + Shower News!

I apologize for abandoning all my loyal readers and fans. I guess building a baby took over, allowing me less time to actually blog, work and move to Brooklyn. (I'm still ahead of my husband who can't talk and drive at the same time....).

Okay, so the big news in my life is as follows:

My family and friends threw me the most fantastic, sophisticated and fab-u-lous baby shower of all time. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
The shower was at Bottino (10th ave and 24th st) and all my friends and family were there. I've been to showers before, but have an entirely new respect/admiration now that I'm the recipient of one. To have all these women gather around and help me get started on the biggest journey of my life is a feeling that I can’t yet describe. Everyone was so generous and excited for us. I am truly blown away and feel unbelievably lucky to have such a close group of supportive women.

The only travesty is that the theme of the shower was my blog - which I LOVE! - but I've been a blog-slacker. So now, as I said, I'm back and ready to blog once more!

Fifth Anniversary of Sept 11th

Today is the fifth anniversary of September 11th. Do I feel any safer? No. Do I think additional attacks will happen in NYC? Yes. So then I ask myself, why do I stay in NYC?

I’m nervous something will happen to Chris and I in NY, while Hayden is (thankfully) safe at home in Brooklyn. That he will grow up without us. Maybe I should move to another state, like Connecticut. No one cares about Connecticut. It’s small, gets really cold in the winter and mass-produces WASPS.

3 Months Left!

I hit my third trimester. THIRD TRIMESTER PEOPLE! That means, the baby is coming, and soon. I've got a million + 20 things to do, like: find a pediatrician, tour the hospital, take baby CPR, lamaze (although I have zero intention of using it - thank you epidural), and the list goes on and on and on and on and on.

The home stretch. I'm feeling excited to see Hayden. Excited to have my body back. Excited to have a glass of wine, oysters & unpasteurized cheese. I'm also, terrified of labor. Scared to take care of Hayden. Scared to have my body back (what, no more ice cream before bed? And a nazi husband who will whip me into shape).

OMG! I Saw A Scary Labor

So, I decided quite stupidly, that I should watch a real, live childbirth on The Discovery Channel. I eventually felt that I need to be informed of the potential hurdles of labor. I can't tell you what a horrible decision this was. I can barely write about it because I can barely think about it without wanting to vomit with fear.

Let me break it down, very briefly... (if I go into details, I will get myself sick)
1. It took 3 tries of stabbing this poor girl in the back before the Epidural took.
2. I will never, as long as I live allow forecepts to be used to extract babies from my na-na.

All I want is for a stork to drop off Hayden at my front door on December 1st. Or else, at time of labor, I want to transfer the baby, like the Star-Trek Transporter thing-a-ba-bob, from myself to Chris so he can go through labor. This kid better love me. And I mean love me a lot, like, more than Chris.

Shocking News: Brittney And I Have Same Outfit.

I just got back from vacation and have oh, so much to talk about. However, I was just perusing Pink Is the New Blog, when I saw a photo of Brit-Brit wearing an outfit that I own. There are four potential scenarios:

1. She read my blog and took my advice
2. She is shaping up on her own
3. I'm going downhill and fast
4. Dumb luck for her that she dresses as well as I

I would show you the outfit, but it's the same outfit I choose to wear at my baby shower - so it must stay hidden until the big reveal. I mean, I choose this oufit for a special day, and now, Brittney has somehow sullied it and made it 'country'. I WAS just on vacation that was primarily outside, with outhouses and stuff - do you think that maybe I turned 'country'? No, that couldn't be. But what if?

I'm outta here - gotta go shopping.

Boys: I Love Em!

Okay, I have to admit, or maybe I did already, so I'll restate - I don't exactly know what to do with a boy. When I think of little girls, I know exactly what activities they will like and the things we'll talk about- you know, I want to grow up to be a ballerina or singer or hairdresser (that was me for a minute). With a boy, I have limited vision of our future. What is the minimum amount of sporting events I can attend, while still being an attentive, encouraging & loving mother?

This weekend, I had a vision of my future and I liked what I saw. I stayed at my cousin Mark's house and he has two boys: Max & Sam. After only two full days with the kids, I can't wait to have boys.

These kids are great!!! They are funny and outgoing, love baseball and their mom! They do fun activities like biking and swimming and the little one just likes to run. They smile all the time and are just a delight to be around. I would be unbelievably lucky to have kids like them.

As their mom Michele says: It's all due to sleep training! (another blog forthcoming).

Family Matters.

I'm in LA for my Uncle's wedding, and this will be the first time I see my extended family since being pregnant. I'm really excited to see them, especially my Grandma, who hasn't seen my belly yet. Funny thing is, I'm excited, but kind of shy, all at once. And I never feel shy!

I guess, since I don't see my family that often, they think of me as a kid. When I travel to LA for business, I get the distinct impression they can hardly believe I am there, alone, without a chaperone. How did I get to LA from NYC without a note pinned to my jacket with delivery instructions!?

Getting married broke that image a bit, but being pregnant, and a legitimate pregnancy at that (I'm no spring chicken) should shatter it. And do I want it shattered?? No way! I love being the funny, kooky kid they know, and now, suddenly, I'm going to be a responsible adult. Just how and when did that happen?

More Thoughts On Poop

Changing diapers is something that Chris and I dread. We're going to try to be like those crazy parents that potty train their kids at 6 months. Yeah, yeah, I can hear all the parents out there saying, but when it's your kid, you don't mind the poop. You get used to it.

To hell with that! I will never get used to it! I wish I were rich enough to hire someone whose sole responsibility is to pick up my kids poop, and ensure that I am never, ever exposed to it. Why oh, why did I marry for love!

Like I Need An Excuse to Sing.

They say singing to a baby helps their brain development. Some people may think this is a silly notion, but for me, I bought in hook, line and sinker. Let me paint you a picture of my morning...

I wake up, coffee, cheerios, paper, etc. etc. etc. Then, and most importanly, I hop on computer, start itunes, (80's mix or broadway) and then systematically play song after song, while simultaneously pulling up lyrics so I don't botch the words. This morning's musical foray included: Thompson Twins, 'Hold Me Now', Howard Jones, 'No One is to Blame', Yaz, 'Only You' and Cheap Trick, "The Flame". I'm just glad I finally have a solid excuse to sing like a lunatic.

He's Kicking!

Hayden is squirming, moving, bumping and thumping. And I love every second of it! I can feel him when he stretches out his legs and when he gives a big kick. Chris can experience it as well because we can feel him kick from the outside too. Honestly, it's amazing and it reassures me, knowing that he's progressing and growing.

This kicking has made me fall madly and deeply in love with this kid. I think it was a combo of
1) finding a place for him to live
2) buying cool onesies
3) feeling him kick
It made this pregnancy-thing very real and exciting and I can't wait to meet him!

VH1's Flavor Of Poo

Fine, the show Flavor of Love on VH1 has nothing to do with babies. But it does have to do with poop, which I'll be knee-deep in for several years after this kid arrives, so I think I can find a tie-in.

Have you seen the first episode of Flavor of Love? Have you? If not, you must. YOU MUST. And please, don't play hoity-toity, I'm too good for Flavor of Love. Here's the deal: during the rose ceremony type-moment, one of flavor's girls slinked off, up the stairs, (white stairs no less) and went to the ladies room, where poop is supposed to be deposited. However, on the way up the stairs, she pooped. Let me repeat: on the way up the stairs she pooped.....! ON THE STAIRS. It fell out of her dress, and landed on the white stairs. Check out clip: http://youtube.com/watch?v=EK1VeNVIO-8 I can't even DEAL!

Belly Button Update: Still An Innie!

What's the deal with my belly button? It's still an innie! I hit 6 months today and I really thought I'd have an outie by now. In fact, I had a big steak dinner last night and was convinced that it would pop after the meal. You'd think, after eating my own weight in cow, I wouldn't have room for a baby, a cow AND an innie belly button, but apparently, I do and it's hanging in there.

Eek, labor.

I just realized that I gloss over what actually happens at the end of pregnancy. You know, when I eject a 7-8lb kid out of my na-na. Funny thing is, I don't actually think about it much. Before I was pregnant, that's all I thought about - the horrors of labor. But now that the feel-good hormones have kicked in, I'm like, 'labor, oh, that ain’t no big thang, I can handle that'.

Annnnnnnnwaaaay, I'm wearing my favorite dress today, the one with fishes. And I'm going to dinner at CraftSteak - yumm. Wait a minute! I'm doing it again! I'm glossing over labor... I swear, it's the hormones. I guess I just need to have faith that god will be by my side, and get me through this. Haha kidding! I need faith that NYU Medical has a full stock of epidural so I can get the highest dose humanly possible. Now that’s faith!

5 Steps Britney Needs To Take So We Can Look At Her Again:

What is Britney's deal? Why can't she get dressed in the morning like the rest of us? And please, Brit-Brit do not give the 'I'm country and knocked up again' excuse. No one wants to hear it sister! Here are my suggestions for a simple makeover:

1. Become BFF with Kevin Paves so he can do your hair everyday like Jessica Simpson.

2. Do not wear K-Fed's dirty, old, 'god only knows where they've been the night before' boxers. Have mercy and leave them to the hookers, I mean ladies he brings home so they have something to wear on the long and lonely 'walk of shame' home.

3. No more tank tops with cute or bold statements that you wish you could say, but just don't have the balls to spit out.

4. Hire a stylist - please! You can sing, dance and procreate, but you simply can't dress yourself. Don't be ashamed, it's okay. Just hire someone to dress you, so we can stand to look at you again.

5. Tone down the make-up - at least for the sake of your son. Sean Preston does not want you looking like a hoochy momma.

photo source: http://www.thesuperficial.com/

Hezbollah Shmezbollah

So, the world is quickly going up in flames. Hezbollah and Israel are at war, and there is no immediate end in sight. The Hezbollah fighters are much, much more experienced, well-armed and dangerous than Israel first expected. And the Lebanese people are the ones paying the price. But, hey, what does this have to do with having a baby? Nothing!

The typical me (typical = pre-pregnancy) reads the international section of the paper front to back, I consume op-ed articles all while watching the news. Today, the news, as bad as it is, is at a low hummm. Today, I read the paper, maybe about a paragraph, and then I find myself daydreaming about the future with little Hayden.

I think it must be a defense mechanism. If I thought too long and hard about this stuff, I'd be terrified to have a child, particularly in NYC. So, now, I just tune it out. Frankly, the world looks pretty rosy from this standpoint. Now I know what the ignorant dopes that voted Bush in must have felt like.

Retail Therapy

So, I mentioned I went through a period of being scared about by having a baby. Chris thought shopping for Hayden would be the cure - and he was right! We got the cutest kimono's, onesies, PJ's and Rock n Roll outfits. Now, I'm super excited about having a baby and dressing him up! Poor kid, little does he know he'll be my living manequin for the rest of his life...

Moving On Up....

We need a place to actually put the baby, so we're moving. We considered staying in our apartment and raising Hayden in the armoir or under the bed, but came to stark realization that a second bedroom is necessary. We're hoping to get a two bedroom aptartment in a new building in Brooklyn Heights. Chris is excited about the building because there is laundry on every floor and a gym in the building. It's a dream to my laundry-loving, gym-obsessed husband.

In fact, my entire family is 'moving on up' because my sister will move into my place - from a tiny studio to a one bedroom. So we all win.

OMG! I'm Going To Have A Baby!

need i say more?

Belly Button

I'm fascinated with my belly button.

Why?

As my stomach gets bigger, I can see deeper and deeper into my belly button. I thought I knew all there was to know about my body, and suddenly, in pregnancy, I can see an entirely new part of me that I never could before. As the view to my legs and feet shrink due to my burgeoning belly, my belly button is probably the only part that i can see more of, not less. And I love it!!

I wish I took pictures just of my belly button from the start, so I can document the changes. Wouldn't that be the type of display, in black n white The MOMA or someone would pay millions for? I could become famous - all because I love my belly button.

I'll notify you as soon as it pops.

The Best of Times to Crap!

This pregnancy has been a roller-coaster of emotions. Up until three days ago, I've never been happier. I tell everyone I meet, strangers on the street, seat-neighbors on the subway, co-workers and managers that I am madly, deeply in love with my husband. That I've never been so in love, our relationship never so strong!! I walk around on a cloud consisting of hormones and excitement. Inevitably making most people around me want to gag, because no one else can possibly be as happy as me. Well folks, this all came to a sudden end.

Three days ago, I went from the pure, unadulterated joy I’ve been living to the depths of despair. And it wasn’t pretty. The stress of moving, the baby, my body turning itself from a hot-thang to a ka-dunk-a-dunk-dunk made me suddenly freak out. And I started to cry, inconsolably. And I went to bed and had a panic attack, wondering why am I doing this to myself, my life!? WHY! I’m happy, things are great, why am I taking such a big leap?

The only antidote was a quick, friendly call from a friend who has been there. And she said, I’ve been there, I get it, it will pass. And it did – right then and there. You may wonder, am I back to cloud nine? Am I making strangers sick with my stories of love? No. But I’m not wandering around Dante’s Inferno either. I think a little extra love from my husband, retail therapy, spa treatment and a day off of work will do the trick! (retail therapy has already been executed and is doing wonders for my spirit.)

From Hot to House

Up until last week, I was hot. Really, I was a hot momma! Even the construction workers would make cat calls in my direction. Now, I only get cat calls from the men that like to get it on with severely obese women. You know these men. They are skinny and nerdy show up on Maury Povich explaining why only 500 lb++ women turn them on. The standard line, “the more weight, the more woman to love”
I used to walk around, proud as a peacock over my growing belly - showing it off on the weekends with mini tank tops and only wearing skimpy bikini's to the beach.

Suddenly, and virtually overnight, I went from hot to house. When did this happen? I'm trying to review my food intake and time spent on the couch after work to see if really, I deserve to be a house. And you know what? I think I do. My ass is as big as my stomach, and with my spine supporting my tummy, it makes my ass stick out even further! I said it before, and it deserves to be said again, da dunk a dunk dunk. I can hear it with each step I take.

My plan: go to the gym and swim, walk, lift weights and do yoga. However, this is always my plan. And it never works!! Never! A great dinner always, always wins over the gym. Or a great TV show. Or a crap TV show and time on the couch. Just about anything but the gym.

This house weighs: 148.

A Boy! A Boy? What Do I Do With A Boy?

We found out we are having a boy! A little boy! Very exciting but confusing. What do I do with a boy?? And little boy parts? I'm not sure what to do with boy parts, but be very delicate and careful.

Will my boy love sports? Will I be one of those mom's with a thermos out on the field watching my boy do x sport? How will I get out of work in time? How can I miss it? Will I hate it and want to fall asleep like professional sports, or will I enjoy it because it's my son? What if my son is on the bench (no surprise if he takes after mom) and I go to all his games in the hope that he plays, and he doesn't and I'm bored stiff? Can I email on blackberry or will the PTA mom's frown on that? Will anyone know that I've spiked my thermos with vodka just to stay awake?

What about acting..?? Will he act and sing and dance? Now THAT wouldn't surprise me. If he sings and acts and dances, am I setting him up to be made fun of in school? Or do other kids not care?? I'm assuming by the time my son gets married, gay weddings will be legal which is exactly what I need, because a son created by Chris and I, has at least a 85% chance of being gay. With a gay son I get the best of both worlds. A boy that loves his mom, loves to shop, go to broadway shows and decorate. I can't go wrong with a gay son!

What's in a Name?

So, we have a name. Hayden. Hayden Edward Young. Hayden, cause we like it, Edward after Grandpa Ed and Young so we can get into the country club. Nussbaum just won't cut it.

5 Months & Enormous!

I'm 22 weeks and enormous. I'm bigger than anyone else that is due around the same time as me! How can this be?? I'm not enormous and neither is Chris. I swear, I'm going to have an enormous, monster baby - like a 18 pounder! There will be a picture of me in my.yahoo, of most viewed photo's, titled, 'Manhattan woman, gives birth to largest baby. Emergency c-section required to extract the little bugger.' This baby will be so large and developed, he'll come out talking and singing.

I did go to the doctor, who informed me that I gained about 10 lbs in a month. A Month! That's insane! During the course of 5 months I've gained the proper amount of weight, 15lbs, but most of it all in one month. And let me tell you -- I'm keenly aware that this is not all baby weight. I believe my ass is the exact same size as my belly, which really takes on a life of its own when I walk. I'm very ka-dunk-a-dunk-dunk.