Prime of our lives

For the past few months I've been thinking to myself, 'my god. I'm in the prime of my life and I need to appreciate it as often as I can'. Work has slowed down so I can spend more time focused on family & friends. Hayden is growing and maturing and Emerson is the cutest, chattiest baby I know. Her growth and independence is really helping our overall family get out of that 'baby stage'.

My life is perfect & I am so blessed and happy.

I'm so happy

Everything is perfect. Beautiful, sweet, smart and funny children. The husband of my dreams (slightly annoying only about 50% of the time). Wonderful job. Emy turned 2 and is literally a little me. Summer just started and we have a house in east hampton. Life is good

Cancun 2012

Another fantastic trip to Mexico. Emerson was 19months and Hayden just turned 5. Hayden as always loved the beach and all the grandparents (ours, glazers & feldman's) loved watching him play with chris all. day. long.

Emerson was an absolute delight. She is non stop talking and smiles. Waving and saying hi to everyone she meets, running up to babies saying, 'hi baby! Hi!'

When we checked into the hotel there was a manger set up and Hayden was asking about it. Chris explained who each person was, mary, 3 kings, jesus, etc. Hayden said, Jesus - who is that? I said, you know when we get mad and say 'Jesus Christ!! It's that guy.'. He totally understood. A few days later as we were walking by the manger Hayden yells, 'hi Jesus!!!!' the entire manger situation was hysterical.

Laid on the beach most of the time with cloudy weather every day. Friday we went to xcaret and had a great day.

Chris and I had a few dates while ima & mike watched the kids. Was great to reconnect and spend some down time together.

I love our family vacations!

Vaca

Had another great week in FL w/ the kids. Hayden truly discovered golf and played every day. He was in a great mood all week, super sweet and happy. Emerson was talking up a storm with 3-4 word sentences. Loved hanging with her grandma while Hayden loved golfing w/ mike and doing his workbooks to practice writing w/ ima.

During this trip chris & I spent a night in Miami. It was fantastic - a much needed break!

Hayden lost his first tooth!

Happened 2 weeks ago at dinner. He is so excited about it all!

2 burning questions Hayden had for daddy this morning

1. What is corn on the cob?
2. Where do babies come from?

Public, private, charter?

These questions rolls around in my head all day long. The choices seem so difficult and final.

I'll likely have an obvious answer in a month when we find out of we are in or out of private and the charter school.

On vacation

I love these moments with my beautiful family. Could I be more blessed?

Emy has a new saying

Instead of saying no, she says 'never!'. Our conversation went like this:

Me: emy, time for dinner come into the kitchen to eat.
Emy: never!

Emy crying for her big bro

Hayden got in a bit of trouble for not listening and was in his room throwing a huge tantrum - the first in many months. Emerson heard him and immediately started crying, pointing to Hayden's room clearly upset and nervous for him. She was pointing at us saying saying Hayden, Hayden - expecting us to go in and help him. It was unbelievable. She was near tears herself .

A few days later Hayden was sad about something and Emy came to his room and patted his back. He held her tight, gave her a big kiss and completely changed his mood from sad/grumpy to happy.

Best siblings ever.

Hayden turned 5. Crazy!!

Kid is legit. We had a week long celebration which ended with a big super hero dress up party at by kids club. Grandpa even dressed as superman and chris surprised the kids as a bad guy. Awesome birthday week!

Happy, happy, happy

Emy was so excited to be home and see her stuffed animals and babies. When I showed her baby, she couldn't stop laughing & hugging her. Then, input her in bed and she said hi to all her dolls, "hi giraffe, hi baby. Elmo - hi Elmo. Hi baby" and then she put them all in a pile, laid on them and said, "happy, happy, happy!". Love that baby!!

Packer interview

We had our family interview at packer which went great. Hayden did an excellent job w/ his interview portion (questions/puzzles basic math) & I think chris& I did well. We are now worrying we'll get in !! Super expensive but we think worth it for hayden who needs smaller class size

Emerson & i played w/ stickers for a while after dinner. "a sticka" she calls it.

Birthday realization

I just turned 37 & time seems to be slipping quickly by me. Hayden, my baby is nearly 5 & Emerson is a gregarious 1.5yr old. I'd like to document one thing about them or our lives, daily.

Today Hayden took a test for the private school application process he cried the entire way there (this whiney cry that I have to admit makes me nuts) and then admitted he was scared. Really who can blame him as we are asking him to sit in a room of strangers and answer questions for an hour. I worry he bombed it. It's not that Hayden isn't intelligent, but expressing himself & using his words is not his strong suit

Emy was a riot all day. Was non-stop talking & playing & making us play Maroon5's moves like Jagger a hundred times

Things hayden says:

- watching cartoons (I.e. avengers, Spiderman) is the same as us watching the news
- when we went away w/out Chris, Hayden assumed chris played w/ his toys after work.
- assumed action figures cost $100 or more.

Sensitive boy.

Hayden's had a few moments everyday when he gets a little grumpy. I suspect when he is tired or hungry & I need to work on heading that off. Anyway, after he gets out of the funk he gets extremely sad and cries that he ruined the day or he doesn't want to be a bad boy. Sometimes he says he doesn't like his brain because it makes him grumpy. He is so hard on himself!

It makes me so sad to see him like this. I'm going to work on it with him.

First word.

Cat. She looks at a picture of a cat and says, "ca"

Also stood alone today for a few seconds. Big things happening! 10months

Emy gets sick. And it sucks.

Did I mention before that little E had asthma? Well, she does. They don't call it asthma, they call it wheezing and brochiolitis - but it seems pretty darn asthma-y to me. Anyway, she's been sick and kind of stuck to us like glue. Feverish for several days, coughing like crazy and wheezing. Despite a rough for days where she really felt pretty crummy, she remains happy as ever and really quite resiliant. Makes me think twice about complaining the next time I am sick.

4 times a day we need to give her medication for her wheezing where she has to sit and inhale this vaporized meds.

Anyway, I had about 3seconds to write this before I have to run to the next thing. Sheesh - life is crazy!!

Sparkle!

Chris was holding Emy this morning, beaming, saying this is my little girl! He then told me that you can really tell she is a girl because she has a special sparkle in her eyes. It was a very sweet moment

Life with Two - Part Two.

Ohhhhhhhh boy. My life is jammed packed with baby and kid! Life with two, (and I really can't say this enough) is so much more demanding than I had expected. Despite the demands, it is still wonderful and nothing makes me happier than being with my family. Emy is now 5.5 months - she really doesn't cry very often, is very relaxed and sweet with a huge gummy smile. She also sleeps through the night which is the key to happy parents. Hayden continues to be the big best big brother a mother could ask for (or even imagine) - he can make Emy laugh like no one else. He is sweet with her, talks to her hugs her and helps give her a pacifier or makes relaxing shushing noises when she gets upset. He rules!

Emy started rolling over a few weeks ago and now sleeps on her tummy. It worried Chris and I at first, but she has really mastered the tummy sleeping and she happily sleeps this way all night long. She started eating real food - rejecting sweet foods like bananas and apple sauce, preferring more savory foods like carrots, spinach, yams and avocados. When she eats she insists on putting her thumb in her mouth at the same time. It is a MESS to say the least. As I write this, she is on the floor in the gymini playing with her toys which entails looks intently at it, putting it into her mouth, talking to it then swinging it around. And repeat. God I love this pudge! Speaking of pudge - did I mention how large she is?! She is 97% for length, and off the charts for weight and head size. Pretty amazing.

Mr. Hayden is a delight. He continues to grow into a happy, intelligent boy. On a typical day, from the moment he wakes until the moment he goes to bed he exudes a sweetness about him that is irresistible. In the morning he laughs on his way to the potty. After he goes he diligently washes his hands (this boy always listens to the rules) and then brushes his teeth. He then chooses a TV - typically batman. From there it is a mad dash to eat and get dressed for school. Hayden loves school! We walk to school and then I get to linger at the window, watching him interact with friends or choose an activity. After school he eats a sandwich and goes on a playdate - mostly impromptu gatherings in the play ground w/ close friends. Following that he hangs at home in the afternoon and our little friend Jackson (10month old) typically joins for another playdate. Hayden absolutely loves Jackson - and is so excited when he comes over - which is amazing to me considering Jacksons young age.

So, as you can see - life here is very full.

Back to Work!

The dreaded day has arrived. I have to leave my life of leisure to go back to work. After having the very best summer of my life - picking Hayden up from school with Ms. Emy in tow, spending long days with Hayden at the Intrepid, Bronx Zoo and Central Park it was very difficult and sad for me to even think about being away from my kids.

The truth is - I want to be a stay at home mom. I think I would be very good at it, even though it is difficult. My kids are my source of happiness. Watching them interact with other children, teaching them new things about the world around them, experiencing everything in their day - well - I revel it. To have those precious few months, being a stay at home mom - what a GIFT! But at times, instead of thinking of it as a gift, and just being happy to have it - I would feel frustrated that I can't have this life permanently. That somehow I found a career that is actually too good to leave. That I can't afford this life on one income. At times I doubt if we are making the right decisions.

When I take a step back and think about this rationally I do believe we are making the right choices. We simply can not live on one income and be as close a family. If I stopped working we would have to move to the burbs and relatively far out. If that happened, Chris would have to leave for work earlier and come home later. He would not be as involved as he is today - and really - is that the right choice? One of the benefits of having working parents is that we both need to be very hands on. I am more so, but still he is as well. And with my job, I am able to work from home a few days a week, stay home when needed (if they are sick or have doctor appointments), drop off H to school everyday and pick up the days I am home. Instead of going to lunch I can go to the playground instead - it's really an ideal life.

Fast forward: I started work again, I am enjoying it. I do like what I do although the days I am not at home I feel lonely and really disconnected from the kids. I am my happiest when I can be at home with them, hear their voices from the other room when I am working. Luckily I've been able to do that several times a week.

Life with Two.

Life with two is so much harder than I had ever expected. I've been buried in baby for 2.5 months now. However, I can see the light at the end of this tunnel.

1. For Emy's first two months she was waking every 2-3 hrs to feed. It was totally and completely exhausting. I think that being that tired can bring on a bit of post-partumy type feelings. It really sapped the joy of parenthood away from me, including being with Hayden. I was so tired, all I wanted was peace and quiet in the day - which is impossible with a 3yo and newborn in the house. I had little patience and really appreciated the help my parents and nanny provided to get me through the day.

2. For the past month Emy has been waking 1x/night to eat, sometime between 2-4am. Life is much more manageable now and I really appreciate being a parent of two.

3. Emy is really blossoming! She smiles, has found her hands and loves putting them in her drooly little mouth. She now kicks her feet up really high in the air - i think she'll be noshing on her little toes in no time. She coos at us, and when we coo back she coos again. It's like a real conversation. She is a big, cubby baby - with big jowels, adorable chunky thighs and arms. She is so damn cute and shmush-able, I can't even deal!

4. Did I mention we moved a few days after Emy was born?! I think that truly added to the stress of our lives and has kept me incredible busy. My maternity leave has been flying by. These days I blink and the day is over. I can't believe it!

Our Newest Addition! Emerson Frances Young

We have a little girl. A GIRL! I cute, adorable, sweet and hairy baby girl! (Why do I make such hairy little babies?!)

I could not be happier and all my concerns about being able to love a little one right away have flown out the window. I LOVE THIS LITTLE PEANUT. I love the smell of her, her puffy, tired little eyes, her soft skin, sweet lips and head of beautiful hair. I love her little toes and button nose. Emy-Lou: I LOVE YOU!

Hayden's View of Smushie.

We all think Hayde will be a great big brother. He is very excited for Smushie to arrive. He's been wonderful with my friend's son, Jackson and is very loving. Hayde likes to kiss and hug my stomach - and say hi to the baby. He has offered to share his room and even his bed with the baby.

Will he really feel this way when Smushie arrives? We'll see. I think we have a good plan in place to ensure he gets lots of attention from us still. For instance, I'll take Hayden in the morning for play dates while our nanny is with baby and then we'll switch. Something to that effect.

I'm expecting a wonderful summer with my family!

2 Weeks Pre-Baby Maternity Leave.

I have two weeks off before my due date. This has been one of the best weeks of my life. I'm feeling good and am spending as much time as I can with Hayden. Lots of time at the playground, play dates, activities. It's wonderful!

Hayden's really maturing. Becoming more and more verbal, less tantrums and getting a better hold of his emotions. He's also super into 'mommy'. So far he's been a daddy's boy but FINALLY he wants his mommy - and all the time. I'm getting a little respect around here.

Chris has also been great - very supportive while I waddle around. He gets a big kick out of my size and teasing me. That my belly button looks like a nose, that I waddle and that my tummy looks like I swallowed a basketball.

And the baby - smushie. I go for a sonogram every week now and that baby is SMUSHED!

How Would You Answer This Q?

At the busy pizza place last night, Hayden looked at me sweetly and said in a very loud voice, 'Mommy - how is the baby going to get out?'. I swear the entire place stopped to hear my answer. Will she say 'it'? Is this a prelude to 'where do babies come from' question? Is she going to say, 'well son, I push and push and squeeze a baby out of my vagina!?'. Amy was there with me, who stopped mid-bite... What will Ali say?

To also put this in perspective - Hayden is 3. This morning he thought I was a fry-cook at Google and didn't remember 'Chris Young' is his dad, so I have to handle this delicately. I took a breath, did the ol' repeat the question trick so I can think of the answer, and said "Daddy will bring the baby home from the hospital'. He was satisfied. Crisis averted.

Two Months to Go!

Crazy-time. Two months left until this new baby arrives. I think it's beginning to sink in that a new child will be living with us. One that I made - all by myself - for the past several months. Nuts!

Maybe if we had a room or a house to put this new kid it would seem more real. Or maybe if I had time to slow down and reflect it would sink in. Right now it all just seems unreal. Oh and what will we name the kid if its a boy? We're going to have a nameless child! Gotta figure this out - stat.

The Crusty Crab & Google.

It just occurred to Hayden that Spongebob Squarepants works at The Crusty Crab, where food is served. Then he said, Mommy, you work at Google, where there is food too. He think that I have the same job as Spongebob Squarepants - a fry cook! ahhhhhhh. I can't wait till he's older and can tease him about this.

It's Cold Outside But My Brain Is All About Summer.

It's 16 degrees out and windchill -1. I decided to stay in all day and turn up the heat. I just had a glorious summertime dream. In my dream, it was a perfect summer day, about 80. I was at my parents house, sitting under the shade of a big tree, new baby in my arms. I built a beautiful tent to lay under, was eating fresh fruit and Hayden was playing nearby, quietly while I read a book.

I'm ready for summer and I think I may even be ready for this new babe.

I Thought I Knew, But I Have No Idea!!

I totally thought I was having a girl. I tried to play dumb to Chris so he could still be surprised, but I truly thought from seeing the Ovaries in the sonogram that it was girl-city. When I told my OB she said, silly - those are YOUR ovaries NOT the babies! So now, I truly have no idea what kind of baby we are having.

I'm thrilled with a boy or girl, so I'm not wishing for one over the other. I'm just excited at the surprise!! Four more months until we find out. :)

Boobies.

Hayden has discovered 'boobies. A little in my opinion but I can't have him unlearn it. When he plays with his female action figures he yells, Boobies and points at Wonder Woman or Hawk Girl's Chest. Then he points at my chest and yells, 'boobies!" I asked where he learned this and he said, "daddy"

hmmmmm

A Girl?!???

Had our sonogram today where they are able to look at the baby to ensure the anatomy is all there. Our baby seems perfectly healthy! She is also very active.

We told the doctor we don't want to know the sex, and she was very careful to ensure we didn't look. However, at the end of the sonogram she was looking at two circles and labeled them LT OV and RT OV. What else can it be but Ovaries?!

Chris was disappointed I told him, but he was right there staring at the screen! I thought he saw it too.

So a girl!? I think so. What else could OV be?

It's Ovaries. Gotta be! I just went shopping and bought some girl bedding! I'm so excited A GIRL A GIRL! How fun!

Hayden's 3 Y'All!

How did we get here? I can't believe it! My little baby is now 3, and if I dared call him a baby he would get very upset with me.

We had a wonderful birthday party. We rented a little restaurant called Sweet Melissa's for cookie decorating, brunch and ice cream sundae's.

Attendees: Becket, Lukas, Elle, Rogan, William and of course Sienna.

It ended up being so expensive I've been referring to it as Hayden's Bar Mitzvah.

After the party the grandparents and extended family (Sisi, Mali & Josh) all came over to open presents. Sienna gave her approval to all the gifts and we played a rousing game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Hayden kept saying, 'Boy, my hippo is hungry!'

Pictures to come shortly.

Boys!

Hayden has this funny game of pretending to feed me worms or germs. He'll pretend he's feeding me strawberries then yell, 'it's worms! or it's germs! YUCK!' And laugh hysterically.

He also had his adorable little cat Boris eat a baby dinosaur this morning.

I have a feeling little girls don't feed their parents pretend worms/germs or have their stuffed animals eat other toys.

Email From My Very Pregnant Friend Brooke: (I think it's very cute and will be me in 6 months)

I slept alright last night. I did get fully dressed this morning and then sat on the couch for a minute and ended up falling asleep for 20... oops.

Real Adults!

We are in contract to buy a 3 bedroom - room for both babies. Can't believe it - we are real adults now. :)

First Parent - Teacher Conference

Had our first parent teacher conference this morning. It was great to hear someone else's opinion on Hayden especially because they think he is such a great kid! Some highlights:

1. He is good at follow-through. When he is done playing with a toy he will put it away. He will really focus on finishing an art project. In all the yrs these teachers have been at school, Hayden is the only one to bring back an art project he didn't finish.

2. He loves to clean (gets this from his dad). He enjoys dusting the room, cleaning toys in the sink and using a little vacuum.

3. He is kind and considerate. When he is done playing with a toy, like play-doh he will ask the other kids if they want to use it.

4. He is even tempered and independent.

5. He loves super-heros and is beginning to play imaginary games in the school yard with his other friends.

Net-net: we were blessed with an amazing kid!

See you later poops.

Hayden has essentially been potty trained for the past few months. A huge accomplishment, I must say.

When we bring him to the potty and he poops, he stands up, looks at his poop proudly and then says,
'I flush!'

Then as he is flushing he says:
'See you later poops!"
"Go home to your mommy and daddy"


Cracks me up every single time.

I'm Going to Flash You Later.

We recently bought Hayden a talking Buzz Light Year doll. Hayden will sit around copying what Buzz says, but often repeats it wrong. For instance:

Buzz said, "i'm going to blast you with my lazer'
Hayden repeated: 'I'm going to flash you later'

Heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today...

it was a beautiful sound.

True conversation with Hayden....

True conversation with Hayden

Me: Where does Daddy work?
Hayden: Etrade
Me: Where does Mommy work?
Hayden: Google.
Me: Where does Grandpa Mike (the doctor) work?
Hayden: Golf.

Story Time.

Hayden likes the stories I tell. Since I've been a bit tired lately, we'll hang out in my bed and I'll rub his back. We lie almost nose to nose and I'll tell him the story of a little girl named Ali who loved going to school. Her dogs Mandy and Wheatie missed her so one day they followed her all the way to school. Low and behold the teacher allowed the dogs to stay in school that day. He thinks this is a great story, especially when Mandy and Wheatie take the school bus home with little Ali.

These days Hayden and I share so many special little moments together. I wish I could bottle him.

My love bug.

At dinner last night Hayden looked at Chris and I and said, 'I love you mommy. i love you daddy.' And then he got sad face. He was feeling overwhelmed and got a little emotional, requiring several family hugs to help him. It was so cute, so sweet, so special and beautiful. I love you Hayden!

I have a secret and I'm excited to share it with you.

I'm pregnant. I think it's a girl. First trimester has been tough, but I'm getting through it.

Don't tell. It's our secret.

Why?

Hayden caught a case of 'The Why's' from Mason when we were in the Outer Banks this year. He now asks 'Why' to everything. Example of typical conversation:

Me: Please don't jump on the couch
Hayden: Why?
Me: Because it's dangerous, you can fall and hit your head
Hayden: Why?
Me: Because the table is right near the couch and you aren't looking where you are jumping
Hayden: Why?
Me: Why aren't you looking? I don't know why you aren't looking, maybe it's because you are too busy asking Why.
Hayden: Why?
Me: Stop asking me Why!

--please note that I don't just say ' because mommy said so'. I try to answer with a full explanation but still, the Why's go on and on.

A Big Day

Had one of those great, fun-filled days with Hayden and Sienna yesterday. I find it remarkable, that throughout a hundred stressful moments of Malissa or I telling our kids not to do something dangerous or explaining 'why', we still manage to have a wonderful day.

What did we do?
Central Park - turtle pond, castle, scootering in NYC topped off by delicious NYC Pizza.

Hayden's First Day at PreSchool.

Let me ask you, how did we get here? I gave birth to this adorable little baby, blinked, and now I'm walking him to his first day of preschool.

Hayden did great. A bit shy at first, but is acclimating well to his new environment. We go Thurs/Friday from 9-11:45, but for the first few weeks only for one hour T/F as we get the kids used to going to school and playing with new friends. I think Hayden will love school, meeting new friends and experiencing new experiences.

Dottie the Lady Bug

Found a lady bug in the apartment today. Named her Dottie and & we talked to her for a bit. Asked her if she liked our house, where she came from and if she wanted to be friends with Borris the cat. Then we took her outside to be with her friends in the little green bush outside our house.

Being a mom is filled with many of these magical little moments.

I'm traveling for business.....

......and I really miss Hayden this morning.

2.5

I love this age. Wish I could bottle it. Wish I could keep Hayden as he is, as an adorable little toddler, forever.

At 2.5 Hayden can talk with me, tell me snippets about his day. He communicates well, so he doesn't cry as much and can be reasoned with. He sleeps through the night and tells me when he is ready for a nap. He has friends that he requests play dates with; gets excited when he sees them and sad when they go home. He is my little buddy, and I spend every free moment with him.

After work, I run home so we can go to the park together or have a play date with one of his little friends. We eat dinner together, and chit chat about our day. He gets excited when daddy comes home and wants to 'pway' with his superheros.

As I write this, Hayden is playing in the living room, talking to his cars and reading his books. He talks about what he sees or introduces his toys to each other; 'Hi, I'm superman. Hi, I'm wonderwoman (sounds like wawawoowa)

GOD, I LOVE THIS KID.

The Burbs!

Since the downturn of the housing market and low mortgage rates, Chris has decided it is time we pack up and move to the burbs. I am torn. Logically speaking, it makes sense - we can buy more house for less money. We found a great little town in Westchester and have decided finally that living in Westchester would be a positive move for our family. Although Hayden will enjoy being in a house and having a backyard, it's hard to think of uprooting our life. I'd have to commute in, Janet would need to find new friends for Hayden. And, really, I feel like we are leaving our youth behind.

NYC - I never thought I'd leave it. But after 12yrs, I think it may be time to pack it up and go.

So, we decided to move, put an offer on a house and then, suddenly, in this so-called housing crisis, we were in a bidding war! We lost. Which doesn't bother me - guess I'll have more time as a cool, Brooklyn mom.

June Updates

Hayden is now 2.5yrs old and is in my humble opinion, the best kid in the world. Since my last update, in February, he has grown so much! He is a little talker, although still a bit shy in front of new people.

This weekend we went to a fourth of july party and at the end of the night, when he started getting tired he said, 'i want to go to Hayden's House'. It was adorable. He was running on the grass, drawing, playing with cars and whenever he saw food he'd say, 'i want cake.' He knows when one is at a party, there is cake!

We also went to see a friends new kitchen, Hayden is so used to seeing new homes (from our Larchmont excursions) he was first in line, opening doors, cabinets, etc.

Since it was the July 4th, we considered taking him out to see the fireworks. Chris & I were torn since we didn't want the loud noises to scare him. Ultimately, we decided not to take him to see the fireworks - and what a good decision that was. The entire house was shaking - it sounded like cannons were going off right outside our window. I think we'll need a few more years before fireworks would be fun for him.

This weekend we had beautiful weather. We went hiking in Stonybrook, swimming in the pool, playing at scooter park and today, we are going to the beach. We've been watching our garden grow, and just grabbed some cilantro for guacamole. Hayden loves watering the plants, so they get lots of water when he is around.

It's been a great summer. Hayden's spent lots of time with his grandparents and just has a wonderful time when out here. It's our real summer home.

Reading with Hayden.

Reading book w. Hayden & he is calling out names of all the animals. At picture of a skunk he says, "steak?" At a picture of a worm he says, "shrimp, i eat it

Some Cute Hayden Conversations:

Chris: Hayden, what would you like for breakfast?
Hayde: pasta and meatballs.

Me: Hayden do you want a brother or a sister?
Hayden: A sister.
Me: What should we name her?
Hayden: Elmo

Hayden's 2nd Birthday

We had it, and it was amazing! One of the best days of my life. I was so worried due to numerous cancellations or concerned that Hayden would feel overwhelmed. I was wrong - it was the best.

5 kids attended, 2 of whom Hayden knows really well and of course his grandparents and aunts were all in attendance. Hayden woke up from his nap, we got him dressed-up and made our way to The Little Gym, which is in our building. As soon as his little buddies showed up, it was action time! He was smiling uncontrollably, we all swear he was even showing off - he's never held onto the bar for so long. He took his friend Beckett by the hand to show him around the gym.

After about an hour, we went to the party room for pizza and milk boxes. Grandma Sue had purchased a tablecloth and plates with the characters from Cars. Hayden loved it! He was saying, "cars! cars!" pointing at the tablecloth.

Following that we went back to our apartment for birthday cake (still in the theme of cars). When we sang Happy Birthday, I was beaming from ear to ear. Hayden even blew out his candle! My boy is TWO!

Opening the presents was pure comedy. All the kids gathered around wanting to play with the new toys, which Hayden also wanted. Sienna was opening his gifts, then instead of showing them to Hayden took them around the room saying, "look what Hayden got!" Beckett was convinced a toy with a Monkey was his and was terribly upset that Hayden had first dibs on playing with the toy. In fact, he decided to pick up and leave right after then - his mom found him in the hallway.

It was a beautiful, magical day and I enjoyed every moment of it.

I love you Hayden.

Hayden & Chris reading a book at bedtime.

I Love You.

He said it. He finally said it! He said the words, I love you.

Everything stopped, I couldn't believe my ears. All my work, and kisses, and fun games and painting every morning and it all paid off, in one little sentence - I love you. It was music to my ears - the most amazing sentence of all time. I can't wait to hear it again.

Should I mention that before he said I love you, he said, "I love Movies, YAAAAY! I loooove Movies!". Judging by his enthusiasm for movies, he may actually love movies and TT more than me, but I'll take what I can get.

Poo Poo Head

Was watching A Bugs Life last night, and one of the characters says 'poo poo head'. Hayden, who is sitting next to me on the couch, whispers under his breath, 'poo poo head'. It's only a matter of days before poo poo head becomes a part of his regular vocabulary. THIS is how it starts

The Moon.

Hayden recently discovered the moon. We were walking outside, and we saw a half moon. I pointed it out to him and he was mesmerized. The next day, we were walking in the day, and he turns to me, points to the sky and says, "moon?". Wanting the moon to come out.

Fast forward two weeks. We were driving over the Brooklyn Bridge and we see the moon. Hayden is so excited, he's saying, "Momma, momma, Moon!" Sadly, as soon as we got off the bridge, the moon was hidden by the many buildings in Brooklyn. He became boiling mad, wanting to see the moon again. Not understanding that I have little power to lasso in the moon for him. Although god knows, I would if I could.

California Dreaming.

I want to move to California! I want to enjoy the warm weather all year long. I want to watch Hayden play with his cousins, go to each others birthday parties, and get to know each other even better. I want a backyard, and an easy walk to the beach. I gotta move!

Sammmmy

Hayden and I spent the week in Calabasas, CA with his cousins Max and Sammy. It was wonderful to spend that time with our family. I think Hayden had the time of his life. Watching Max play with Hayden, working so hard to make him laugh and giggle. And little Sammy shared all of his toys and even gave Hayden two little race cars.

Hayden went to Sammy's baseball practice, and kept calling to his name, longingly, trying to play as well. Max was out there practicing with the kids and Hayden kept calling, "Sammmy, sammmy". It was adorable. I wish I could live closer to them.

Would You Accept This Family Into Your Preschool?

I did it! I applied to 4 preschools and have a few tours scheduled for Oct/Nov. I researched, filled out applications and wrote essays - all during one of the most stressful weeks at work. I don't know how I got it done - but I did. H-man is going to school!

Ghetto or Green?

H-A-Y-D-E-N!!

What's that spell!??

Hayden & Grandpa Mike Taking A Nap Outside

Hayden Dancing/Playing in Mirror

Why I Don't Blog More Often

It's been a little over a month since my last blog and generally things are hectic. I've found, in the past six months, that Hayden is so active that when I'm home I'm fully engaged with him. When he goes to sleep, I'm wiped out. I like nothing more than to lie in bed and watch bad TV. Sad, but true.

In terms of work, the past six months have also been stressful. I have a new manager, my manager has a new manager and I now work for Google vs. DoubleClick. Things are going well, but the stress is certainly there.

If I was really honest, sometimes I look forward to my little overnight trips. I can rest, have dinner with adults, sleep in, and/or watch a movie. But ultimately, I always come back missing my little dude and I imagine what he does all day while I'm away.

As I write this blog, a client call is coming in. Another task will have to be left unfinished.

He Changed Again!

I left for an overnight trip to Dallas and I came back and my boy says more words and is trying to talk in full sentences. When I left, he was content to talk in one word sentences, now, one day later, he's babbling all day long. Trying to talk to me, have a conversation!

From Baby To Boy...

I feel like I've talked about this before, but this time, I really mean it: Hayden is now a boy. He's a bona fide toddler. The boy walks, talks, plays with cars, helps take the silverware out of the dishwasher, yells every time he sees a bus, gets upset if he doesn't get his way and refuses to give me kisses when I ask for them. It's amazing!

I can barely take pictures of him, because he is always on the go. We go to the park and he climbs up the stairs, goes down the slide and tries to befriend older kids.

Hearing his little voice - it's like music. It's so sweet and kind, the pitch so high. He yells when he wants to and knows how to whisper. He blows on food that is too hot (...hot, one of this favorite words!).

My little baby, is now a little boy and watching him change, learn and grow is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Hayden's Words:

apple
taxi
bus
car
moo
roar (like a lion)
mama
dada
baby
bye-bye
hi
br (for Brooke)
tickle-tickle (which sounds like a garbled ick-ul - ick-ul)
baa (like a sheep and we think a goat, right?!)


Yesterday he said, bye baby (talking to his Elmo baby) combining two words and forming his very first sentence. And, in the afternoon, he was looking at a picture of an apple, while eating a slice of apple and he said, wait for it.... apple! Ah, it was amazing!

Why I Can't Loose the Last 10lbs of Baby Weight...

Instead of throwing away the lost Cheerios I find on the floor, I eat them. (I'm so gross, I know).

Chris on the Outside, Ali on the Inside.

We noticed Hayden gets upset when we clap and it's not for him. He must be the center of attention, which 93% of the time he is. On the rare occasion we clap for something other than him... he gets sad face and starts to cry. Hayden may look like Chris, but he is all me.

Future Swim Champion Meets Annoying Mother

My kid is the world's best swimmer; he is a natural! Put him in the water and he dunks his head, kicks, floats and does the backstroke. I'd show this to you, but some other annoying mom wouldn't get out of the way when I was trying to video Hayden in class. I swear, one day, there will be a mom war! Annoying moms vs. cool, amazing moms like moi.

Hayden's New Tricks.

I've gotten some feedback from the peanut gallery that my son looks like a little dummy in this video. To set the record straight, he can touch his nose, eyes, teeth, tongue, mouth, hair, ears, belly, belly button, toes, shoes, knees and feet. He can say Moo, roar like a lion and thump his chest like a gorilla. For all your doubters, I'm making a new video that will blow your socks off - except, when I start filming, he wants to grab the camera, so it may take a while to execute. In THIS video, he was looking at himself being filmed, so he was distracted.

I just lost the month of March.

gone. it came and went without much recognition on my part. This is both good and bad, as I typically hate the colder than I think it should be weather.

I'm making amends with the calendar and am going to focus, as best I can on April.

Mom's On The Go.

I suspect that all mom's are in a constant state of movement, although I can't help but think that all working mom's maintain daily life at a frenetic pace. Most days, I can feel my heart, beating, beating, beating, faster and faster, with the aim of moving my body, supplying energy to my brain, so that I can finish a task faster than I thought possible in order to move onto the next. This I do in warp, mom-speed. Write and email, call a client, respond to a - change priorities - ask a question in IM - answer the phone - run to a meeting - making calls and answering emails in the cab - and then a sudden hard stop, whether work is completed or not, in order to run home to put on my mom hat.

We are jugglers, running from one meeting or errand to the next to the next.

Time, which used to hold constant meaning to me has morphed into something I am no longer familiar with. Moving faster than I'm used to. Somehow, months slip by and I can't hold on. February? Where did February go?

As a mom on the go, I get frustrated with anyone that can't keep up with my pace. I get especially annoyed with the nameless people on the street and subways that walk slowly. As I get stuck behind a slow walker, I can't help but wonder, 'why are you so slow? What type of leisurely life do you have that you can walk slowly in the subway of all places?'

I imagine one day, I'll return to normal, slowing down to a regular person's pace. I also imagine it's one of the reason's vacations have become so necessary for me. It allows me, for a few precious days, to slow down to a normal person's pace - walking at a leisurely speed, without a care in the world.

Updates to La Blog

Oy, what a crazy year it's been. I'm so busy I never get a chance to write. If I ever do get a moment to write again, this is what I'd like to document:

1. The fact that hayden loves dogs. When he sees a dog, even from the window of our apartment, he goes crazy, yelling, DOG DOG DOG DOG! Naturally, Chris & I thought taking Hayden to the zoo would be the experience of a lifetime for our child. Well, once again, we were surprised- he couldn't care less. He was even unimpressed by a giraffe. Yawn.

2. Our first family trip, with just the three of us. We went to Santa Barbara. Had the best time!

3. Our trip to LA to see family. How Hayden fell in love with his cousin's Max & Sam. It was one of the most special times I've had yet.

4. Work + Parenting: the endless give and take of it all. How I wish I had a stay at home husband + robot to do whatever I say. If only I were a male living in the 50's - I'd have it all!

5. Nanny love. I never expected my nanny to become a part of our family - yet here we are, and how lucky we are for it.

Hayden's WALKING!

Hayden's First Swim Class!!

Official First Word: Moo.

It's official. Hayden's first word is moo. When I say, "what does a cow say?" he says, "moo" real cute like. He says mamma and dadda, but really, i think it's just babble. Moo is the first word.

Moms Need Moms.

When Hayden was sick last week, I diligently and lovingly took care of him and his every need. When I was sick, my mom did the same for me. She took care of my house, helped finalize plans for Hayden's party, helped me finish a painting I was working on, went back and forth to the grocery store about 5 times in one day. She baked the cupcakes and made the salad. She brought me gatorade, washed my germy sheets when I started feeling better and made me chicken soup. It felt wonderful knowing I could rely on my mom to help me when I needed her. I can be supermom to my kid, but to my mom, I'm still a kid and she's still supermom.

Hands Up!

Mooooooo.

Hayden is repeating us! And not a word that he babbles on his own. He says moooooooooooooo. You know, like a cow!

If we repeat mooooo over, real slow like, several times in a row he'll repeat us. It sounds more like baaaaaaaaaaa, but let's not be picky. The kid is learning!

We Canceled Hayden's First Birthday Party! But He's Still 1, So Who Am I To Complain?

So sad, Chris & I ended up getting the same bug Hayden had - right at the time of his 1st birthday. Because we didn't want to get anyone sick, we decided to cancel the party. What a hard decision! We had friends coming, cupcakes baked, toys out and an outfit picked - we were ready to go. At the last minute, we agreed it would be better to be safe and postpone.

More importantly, Hayden recovered from his first bout of the stomach flu and is doing great. He is a ONE YEAR OLD which is absolutely insane. I don't know where the time has gone, but here we are. One year ago today I was begging the nurse for more percocets. My little guy has grown so much this year: from just a little bundle to developing a real personality, he is crawling and eating on his own and communicating with us. He is our pride and joy, my favorite little person and I can't wait to celebrate many, many, many, many more birthdays!

Hayden is sick..

It's so sad. Hayden is sick, really for the first time.

He was totally fine, then on Saturday night at dinner with friends, he started projectile vomiting. He honestly looked like a scene from the Witches of Eastwick. It was scary. Last night he became feverish and this morning, he is still sleeping. He woke up briefly because he was thirsty, then he curled up next to his toys on the floor in the living room and went to sleep. It was so sad.

When he started vomiting, it was so scary and sad, even Chris almost cried. It was so upsetting to watch him and hear him whimper, knowing there isn't all that much we can do. We had him sleep with us that first night and cuddled with him all day.

I think he is on the mend, although it may be a few days before he is 100%.

here is a photo of him with a fever. He looks super cute with his pinks cheeks.
 

Hayden's Accomplishments:

1. standing on his own!!! (for about 7 mississippi's at a time!)
2. waves hello and good-bye
3. points at what he wants.
4. very expressive without talking - he makes little sounds that I know what they mean. he can call to me from another room or tell me he wants something.
5. walks with his little baby walker
6. plays little games with chris and i: clicking of our tongue, touching forehead (we call it the topel-topel game, which was started by his abueyla Ilse), breathing out of his nose and pointing head up.
7. dances to music
8. has a favorite toy: a little stereo that he can turn the music on which was given by the Ostrow's. (that toy has really come in handy!!)

You know your baby has turned into a little boy when...

he crawls away for 30 seconds and when you go to see where he is, he's in the bathroom, holding onto the toilet, sticking his hand in the water.

Hayden Dancing!

We'll Do Just About Anything For A Laugh...

.....yes, that's Chris in there.

Hayden is eating real food.

Hayden is eating real people food. It's amazing. We give him little pieces of whatever we are eating and he just gobbles it up. He loves it so much that if he ever sees me eating, he starts whining, because he wants a piece as well. We now have breakfast together. I sit on the floor, eat a slice of toast and give him little bites. He's getting so big - like a real boy!

Our Big Night Out

Boy have things changed in the Young household. Instead of celebrating Chris' birthday with a big dinner and night on the town, we went to a 4.45 movie, dinner by 7 and in-bed asleep by 9.45. It was GLORIOUS!

Tushy In the Air...Like He Just Don't Care...

Hayden & Mom Playing!

First Time Hayden Says Mama??

Tricked you! I bet by the title you thought Hayden said "Mama" for the first time. Well, I don't think he has, but I'm really not sure. Hayden actually says "mama" all the time, but he doesn't realize that I am the "mama". I bet if you asked your parents when you first said "momma" or "dada", they'd give you a date or reference a book they took notes on for all your firsts. But I don't see how one would know when the first "momma" or "dada" actually happened. How will I know when Hayden says momma, he actually means ME(!) instead of baby babble?

Before becoming a parent everything seemed so cut and dry, but really it is not cut and it is not dry.There are many nuances to being a mom!

You Know It's Time to Baby Proof When....

your baby tries to stick his fingers into ever socket in the apartment.

your baby opens drawers and tries to use them to lift himself up

your baby is obsessed with doors and hinges

your baby has a radar that attracts him to every piece of furniture with sharp corner


ooops, gotta go, Hayden is making a beeline to the cable wires!

Swwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Video of Hayden Laughing and Having a Grand Ol Time!

Why Do Women Feel Like They Need to Do Everything?

My company brings in high level executives and CEO's to discuss topics on women in the workplace. One recurring theme is that all working mom's feel they are not accomplishing enough, both at home and at work. I, like most women suffer from this complex.

If I had more time I could accomplish more at my job and be a more attentive mom. It's a constant, day-to-day struggle on where to focus my attention. I try to be a great, amazing and engaging mom and I attempt to be great at my job.

My rational self knows I couldn't give Hayden any more love and I am lucky to work at a company that allows me to work from home several times a week, in a field I love no less.

However, that doesn't stop the little voice from creeping in. Could I have done better on that client call? Should I have gone on that business trip? Did the client care I got them a deliverable a day late because I had to run home to relieve the nanny? Do my bosses think I am slacking off? Does my team understand my shifting priorities and are they resentful?

Ultimately, I need to find peace in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can. I can't compete with people that don't have kids. I don't need to work my way up the corporate ladder - I am in a perfect position that is financially rewarding and flexible. That my son, my little man, is growing and flourishing and I spend more time with him than most moms and more quality time than many stay at home moms. And every second I am with him is an absolute joy and I try to savor every moment, sadly putting him to bed at night, wishing I had a few more hours each day to play and watch him grow.

The errands around the house I never seem to have time for will just have to wait. The mail will lay unopened, the clothes in a pile-station near my bed and that will have to suffice and I won't, I REFUSE to feel an iota of guilt!

Thank you Shelly Lazarus for speaking with us today. You message resounded perfectly with me!

No Fear!

My crazy kid has no fear. He tried to crawl off the bed yesterday and stick his little fingers into a socket.

This morning I walked into his room and for the very first time he was standing in his crib. (Supposedly my father in-law saw him standing in his crib the day before, but it doesn't count until I see it!) Anyway, he was standing there giggling. Then, he let go. He simply let go of both hands and before I could stop him, he fell backwards. Thankfully unhurt since he narrowly missed the crib bars and just hit the mattress.

I've read that other kids cry when they stand up. They get upset that they can't figure out how to get down from the standing position - but my little dude?!?! no.. he just let's go without a care in the world on what will happen. I hope this isn't a prelude of things to come!

Vacation!! Outer Banks, NC

We were invited to rent a beach house with 4 other couples in North Carolina. We had an amazing time. I uploaded pictures from our vacation below.

Big Tooth.

I think in past blogs I forgot to mention my little guy's two bottom teeth came in. They are super cute. His top teeth are just breaking through and I was able to get a glimpse of one of them, and it looks enormous! Honest to G-d, I think Hayden is going to have an extra large front tooth. It was fun having the cutest baby ever for a short period of time. Once this big tooth grows in, it's all downhill!

He Changed!

My boy changed. We spent the weekend together and he went from baby to older baby - all in one weekend! He can understand what I say and respond in kind.

When I say, "clap, clap, clap" he claps! When I say, "bye bye" he claps! Okay, well the second one wasn't a great example, but you get the idea.

Hayden's First Crawl!! (....i think....)

Babbling.

Bonzai Hayden Playing With String

New Accomplishments.

It's that time again, Hayden's new accomplishments!

1. He is going to crawl any minute now! He gets on his knees and rocks back and forth. Currently he puts one knee forward then falls onto his belly. In a few days/weeks, I'm sure he'll be off & running, I mean crawling.

2. He holds onto my hands and pulls himself up to standing position. He also sits himself down then pulls himself back up and then he rocks back and forth. It seems like a boy thing to do.

3. New babbling - now with the letter G. ggggggg. It's cute and comes with lots of drool.

4. I occasionally think Hayden knows how to clap on command. Other times, I think I'm just imagining it.

5. He sleeps on his side now.

6. He has full control of his pacifier. When it falls, he finds it, picks it up & puts it in his mouth, the right way.

7. Sits for extended period of time without falling.

8. Continues to be the sweetest, happiest most adorable baby I have ever seen!

Hayden Is Growing Too Fast.

I'm mad. Steaming, boiling mad. My guy is almost 8 months old. How can this be!? Where did the time go?!?

I feel like it was yesterday that he rolled over for the first time. It was just a short few months ago that I first met him. I try to hold onto every moment. I spend as much time as I can with him, and yet, it's not enough. For instance, where did last month go!? This is not fair!

Hayden's First Haircut.

I did it. I cut Hayden's hair. It was a long time coming, that kid had a comb over to rival Donald Trump's. At fist, I thought I needed to arm myself with the flooby in order to give the right haircut, but I took at shot & am quite impressed at the outcome. I'm a natural.

The Perfect Moment....

My favorite place is at the beach. I love to feel the sun on my skin & sand between my toes while reading a great book. Add in my favorite guys & it's pure bliss.

The perfect moment happened this weekend, at the beach in Bridgehampton. It was a little chilly under the umbrella, so I wrapped Hayden up in a towel and he fell asleep in my arms. We were facing the ocean, the water was greener that day with perfect waves that curled and crashed onto shore. All the while reading The Emperor's Children, a book I thoroughly enjoy. Chris was next to me, puttering around and soaking in the day. It was, truly, the perfect moment.

Mom Love.

There is nothing as special or as unique as mom love. Thus far, being a mom has been an absolute and utter joy.

When I was pregnant, a friend of mine with twins told me how much she loves being a mom.

Mom friend: I love every minute of being a mother

Me: really, every minute? every single minute? What about when you wake up in the middle of the night? What about when you clean up their poo?

Mom friend: yes, honest to god, every single minute. I simply love it.

You know what?? That is me! I enjoy every moment of being a mother. Every single moment. Since the day he was born, I feel like I was meant to be a mom. It simply fits.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Dr. Jekyll:

Mr. Hyde:

Life is Unfair.

I was looking at Hayden and realized his tushy is about half the size of his head. This afternoon I was looking at myself and realized my head is half the size of my tushy.

This Kid Is Hungry!

Love how Hayden opens his mouth so wide. Adorable.

Click on play button to start video.

Hayden Swimming & then Making out with Turtle.

First time in swing!

Hayden's first time in a swing. He didn't know to look up!

Do You Detect A Bit Of Attitude In This Photo??

Take a close look at this picture - do you see what I see? I detect a bit of attitude - see how his lip is ever so slightly turned? His eyes are saying, "mom, I don't have to do what you say!"Sadly I have a feeling I'll see this look a lot when he is a teen.

New Accomplishments.

My guy is growing so fast! List of recent developments:

1. repeats momma after me
2. rolls from front to back, back to front. Can get from one side of the room to the other.
3. can rotate on his belly to face in a different direction
4. sits for long periods of time without any support
5. cries when a toy is (or something he thinks is a toy) is taken away from him
6. can hold two toys at once (one in each hand)
7. can pass a toy from one hand to the other
8. continues to be his delightful, amazing, happy little self

I'm Going to Build More Liberals.

For years I've been struggling with the problem of having a republican majority in this country. Since Bush & co have made so many egregious errors, that majority is rapidly shrinking, but still, I think we need more liberals. I strongly believe that if we made politics interesting in school and focused on ideas rather than memorizing places & dates in history class, many of the so called Republican's would realize what being a Republican really means and they would become Liberal.

I also realize that probably isn't going to happen because our schools are struggling enough as it is. Therefore, I decided a sure-fire way to get more liberals is to build them! I'll just start building them and popping them out and I'm sure they will vote in the right party.

Hayden for President

I can't help it, I have high hopes for my boy. I feel like he is going to accomplish great things, like...well....he may be President. And by President, I mean President of the United States. I'd be first mom - and it would be glorious! I'd provide insight to his campaign platform and would help him develop foreign policy. He would thank me in his inaugural speech, saying something to the effect of, "without the love of my mom, I couldn't have achieved this." He would invite Presidents, Kings & Prime Ministers to our summer house and we'd entertain them & I would tell them charming stories about Hayden when he was a small boy. Chris & I would become philanthropists and... wait a minute - what am I doing, he could end up just being amazing and fantastic to me, which frankly, is the best outcome a mom could ask for.

Gas & Laugh

I was sitting with Hayden and he was giggling and farting at the same time. I couldn't figure out if he was farting because he was laughing or laughing because he was farting. Either way, it was cute.

Ahhhh Poop

It's true, being a parent means you deal with a lot of poop. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT! Since Hayden started on solids (i.e. pureed fruits and veggies) he poos every time he eats. Every time. That's a lot of poo people!

Many times his poo doesn't fit in his diaper and it goes right up his back. This has happened more times than I can count. When I look at my little guy, I see a sweet, adorable, intelligent baby, although if you spent a significant amount of time with him you'd probably just see a poop machine.

My Secret Wish.

My secret wish is that Hayden becomes friends with a celebrity's child. They would meet in the playground and quickly become buds. This is how my blossoming relationship with celebrity would go:

Encounter #1:
celebrity: what a beautiful boy! And look at how our kids get along, it is adorable.
me: yours too - gorgeous hair. and they really are having fun - oh, look how your daughter is teaching my son how to climb the jungle gym. Precious.
celebrity: my daughter's name is Violet, and yours?
me: Hayden, and I'm Allison
celebrity: I'm Jennifer, nice to meet you. We actually have to leave, hope to see you soon.

Encounter #2:
celebrity: oh, hi again. look, our kids are playing together again! do you always come to the park at this time?
me: yes, we try to go after music class on Mondays, Wednesdays & Friday's.
celebrity: me too, except Violet has riding lessons every Friday. I live in the neighborhood if you want to get the kids together one day after school.
me: I'd love to. I also live close by so we can switch apartments. Let me check my schedule to see what days work for me and I'll get back to you. What's your number?
celebrity: why don't I take your number? I've had some trouble with stalkers recently and had to change it. Silly me, I don't even remember my new number!

Encounter #10:
celebrity: Hey, since we get along so well, maybe we should do a double date with our husbands. Let me check with Ben to get his schedule.
me: Sounds fab. I've been dying to check out that new Greek place, I'll make reso's.

Encounter #50:
celebrity: oh no! Ben can't make it to the oscar's this year and my mom has strep. Would you be interested in going with me?
me: would i?!!

it goes on and on from there....

On The Road......

I started traveling again and I can't wait to get home to my little guy. I'm sitting in the airport watching video of my little dude. I'm so excited to see him tomorrow morning when he wakes up!

My Boy HATES Green Beans!

He hates green beans, but really after eating homemade apples, sweet potatees and butternut squash, who can blame him?! Video shows his reaction to the beans - my boy has a flair for the theatrics.

If Only I Was A Lesbian!

Before you straight men get any funny ideas, I don't mean it in that way.

If I was gay, I'd have my partner have my next three kids. Now that I've been through the experience of pregnancy, I'm glad I did it, but I don't need to do it again. We'd go to the sperm bank and pick the guy with the most hair and highest IQ. I'd sit back and watch my partner's belly grow, get nauseous for several months, pee 3 times a night and let's not for get the conclusion - push a 8lb child out of her na-na. Knowing me, I'd be ever so envious of the attention she was getting, but I think I'd be able to get over that hurdle.

OMG! Hayden Is Talking!

This is amazing. My little guy, not even six months old, is talking. He repeats me when I say mamamama. He is truly a boy-genius.

I'm Mad!

I entered Hayden in a contest to be on the cover of a baby magazine. They were going to contact all finalists by 5/31. I was not contacted.

How were overlooked? I can't believe it. Hayden is the cutest child ever made, and for this magazine to snub us really makes this momma mad. This is the photo I entered. How could they have missed it!?

More About Mom Love.

What I'm coming to realize is that Mom's are extremely vulnerable. They give birth to this little thing, that they love more than anything in the entire world, and because of that love they are open to pain if god forbid something happens to their baby.

I watched Oprah the other day, about a mom who lost her little girl in a car accident - hit by a drunk driver. Watching this tore me up and broke my heart. I can't stop thinking about it and the awful pain this mother goes through everyday.

The love I feel for my little guy is more than I ever thought I could feel. It is overwhelming and because my love for him is so intense, I can't help but get scared that something could happen and we'd all fall apart. It's amazing how such a little guy, whose only been around for six months can capture our hearts in this fashion.

A Day In The Life Of My Crazy, Happy, Little Dude.

I've Officially Turned Into An Old Lady

To prove my point:

1. I fall asleep around 8:30-9pm.
2. Drunk from 2.5 glasses of wine
3. When invited to a birthday dinner at an expensive restaurant, I can't help but compare the bill to a week's worth of groceries.
4. My own mom, (i.e. a grandma) stays out later than me
5. My outfits all look dumb and silly on my old lady/new mom body

Big Armed

As Hayden grows, I've needed to favor my stronger, right arm when holding him. Every day, I can feel my right arm grow ever stronger as he moves and wiggles around, which requires more and more effort on my part to hold him. I have this vision of my right arm growing bigger, and I mean noticably bigger than my left. Like the guy in Lady in the Water who only worked out one arm. This guy: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0452637/Ss/0452637/379.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0452637

Could I turn into him?

The Biggest Poop I've Ever Seen.

Hayden was constipated and didn't poop for a few days. I was told to give him prune juice to help move things along. It worked.

He had the biggest poo I have ever seen. Ever. Thank god my friend (and fellow new mom) was over who came into Hayden's room when I was changing him. She saw me standing, paralyzed in fear as I stared at his open diaper, with poo all over his legs, feet, belly, back. I didn't know what to do or where to begin. There was poo everywhere! And Hayden was kicking his legs around, having fun, squishing poo on the changing table. Lauren, (new mom friend) jumped in, threw away his diaper, took off his clothes, folded the dirty part of the changing table cover and turned on the bath. Truly, if Lauren wasn't there, I'd still be at the changing table, staring at my brown son.

Mom Love.

Being a mom is the very best job in the world. It is rewarding, fun and exciting. I love it!! I love it more than anything I've ever done, or could do or want to do. It is simply the best.

In fact, I love it so much I've even considered buying a burka and moving to the Middle East so I can have twelve kids without anyone looking at me funny.

New Mom's Group

I can't believe I failed to mention My New Mom's Group in past blog entries. Here goes:

When Hayden was born, I was lucky enough to join a New Mom's Group, run by my Pediatrician. Six new mom's met once a week to discuss new baby things, like, sleeping, eating, pooping, and new mom things like, exhaustion, newfound confidence in motherhood, and undescribable & overwhelming baby love. It was hosted by our pediatrician Dr. Silverblatt and a Therapist, Barbara. During my maternity leave, they were my lifeline to the outside world. During the bleak days of winter, and the sleepless nights of maternity, I had an appointment once a week to discuss all things baby and the emotions that go with it. It was the best thing I could have done, and I felt incredibly lucky to have these other women to talk to. And, to see your Pediatrician weekly, that was a huge, enormous plus as well. Whenever I see a mom in my neighborhood with a brand, new baby, I always stop and tell them about our group and how fantastic it was. Thank you Dr. Silverblatt!!

I loved it so much, my dad is going to start a similar group at his practice.

My First Mother's Day!

I can't tell you how excited I am to have another holiday devoted to me. This year I went shopping, bought myself a beautiful necklace, had it wrapped and gave it to Chris telling him to give it to me on mother's day. It was great! I may take this approach every Mother's Day.

The other great thing about Mother's Day is that I didn't have to share Hayden with anyone! We had tons of relatives around and I barely let go of him. Since I can never get enough time with the little guy, this was pure bliss.

Rolling Over

My little dude rolled over two weeks ago, at 4.5 months. He is going to be a gifted athlete and genius! He was the best at tummy time and now he rolled over early from back to tummy. My boy!

I do feel badly when he rolls over because then he then gets stuck on his tummy. It's a one way roll only. It's a disappointing reward for doing something so spectacular.

Hayden Has An Unusually Large Head

You may wonder, why do I care if he has a large head. Well, I saw a child with an unusually small, thin head. I took one look at that kid and couldn't help but feel jealous over what must have been an easy delivery. That babies head was so small, I bet he just slipped out during delivery and she sauntered home the next day with her new baby. Hayden's head is big and perfectly round. For weeks after he was born, I couldn't help but look at my son and think, "you broke my vagina". Now that I'm healed, I take comfort in the fact that a large head equals a big brain.

More baby pics.

It's All About His Feet!

Hayden Giving up on Tummy Time!

Happy Birthday Grandma Sue!

Hayden Video: Trying solids for the first time!

Hayden Tying Solids! 3.25.07

Click on the image to open the album. Click on the images to start the video clips. He is trying solids, rice cereal for the first time. I think he had more rice cereral on his face, between his fingers, up his nose and on his bib than in his mouth. It was adorable.

Rumor has it, that babies that eat solids sleep better through the night. Crossing Fingers!

Hayden at 3mo In His Bumbo.

Video of My Little Dude.

I've finally stepped into the 21st century and have tons of Hayden video. I haven't figured out how to actually post it here, but you can click on the below link to access our video albums.

http://picasaweb.google.com/babybuilder

Each one of the images is a video album. Click on the pictures to open the album, then click on the subsequent pics to activate the video.

Enjoy!

Hayden Crying After We Took A Break From Feeding to Burp Him

You Know You're A Mom When....

you are to lazy to see if your baby has a dirty diaper, so you pick them up & smell their bottom instead.

Break from Regular Programming To Report:

Britney shaved her head. She is freaking me out.

New Hayden Developments.

I need to chart and map out all of Hayden's developments, so when people interview me about my genius child, I can point to the exact moment I realized it. Here they go.

1. He likes to talk. When he is really happy he makes these adorable cooing sounds. When I repeat it to him, he does it back to me. Sometimes I see him trying to make a sound, he watches my lips move, then he opens his mouth his tongue rolling around and then after a few seconds he makes a loud coo. It is adorable.

2. He is interested in toys!! He loves his mobile. He loves his activity mat. When I place him on his activity mat and shake it, he laughs and his entire body moves with excitement. His arms flail his legs kicks wildly.

3. He is discovering his hands. He is just learning this one. He briefly puts his hands in his mouth, sucking wildly on his knuckles delighted to have found them. Sadly, this only lasts for a few seconds before his arms flail about and he has to start over again a few seconds later.

He Giggled.

Hayden giggled for the first time this morning. It brought tears to my eyes. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Real Tears

Did you know when babies are born they don't have tears? They cry and cry, their little faces get red, you can see their tongue vibrating, their bodies become tense, but no tears. nada. It somehow makes the cry seem not quite as bad.

Hayden recently developed tears and it is heartbreaking when he cries. To see a little teardrop fall down his face, I'll do anything to make it stop. I can just envision myself years from now being suckered into anything when he cries.

Hayden: mom, I want a pony!

Mom (aka ME!): No way Hayden. A pony is too much responsibility and they attract flies. You cannot have one. I repeat - no pony for you.

Hayden: wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaa. But I want a pony. I need a pony. (face turns red, tears start to well up and then roll down his face)

Mom: omg, Hayden are you crying? Are those real tears? Chris, he's crying with real tears! Fine, you can have ONE pony, but that's it! One.

Hayden: (immediately regains composure) starts skipping and dancing around me - Thanks Mom!

I'm going to be such a sucker!

Baby On A Sunday

I love this photo of Hayden. It paints the perfect picture of a lazy Sunday afternoon.

He is lounging on Chris, in PJ's at around 2pm in the afternoon. His onesie, that doesn't match is sticking out and diaper below hanging out even further. He has one sock on, one off. What can I say except this is "Baby on a Sunday"

MY Little Dude....

Crying During Typical Mom Moments

Every once in a while, I get the nagging feeling that I'm not reacting as I should in the classic 'mom moments'. For instance, I didn't cry when I heard Hayden's first cry after delivery. In fact, my delivery was such a blur, I don't even remember that moment. I also didn't cry when Hayden got his first shots. And, the really weird thing is that I am a crier and I hate shots!

Sometimes I think its really all Hayden's fault. He's so damn cute when he cries - how can I cry at a cute kid? Other times I think I'm strong - solid, like a rock!

For the record, so you don't think I'm heartless, I cried when I held him for the first time. Big old sloppy tears. And I cried a few hours after his shots when he cried for 45 minutes straight. That was tough on me. I also cried when he gave me his first smile at 3 weeks. It was the biggest, gummiest grin I've ever seen and it was aimed directly at me. And I cried through the first few weeks - every single time I held him thinking my heart was going to break apart because I love this kid so much. Okay, I guess I've done enough crying. Maybe I'm simply cried out?!?

A Bloody Miracle

Hayden slept through the night! Let me repeat: HAYDEN SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! There is a light at the end of this ridiculously sleep deprived tunnel.

He slept from 11-5:30 - straight. Naturally I woke up at 4, startled, wondering what in sam's hell is going on that he didn't wake me up to eat. I had to go to his crib and make sure he was still breathing. Needless to say, he was sleeping like an angel. Hope he can do it again tonight!

Shots!

Hayden got his first round of vaccines today, which included three shots. He was a champ and only cried for a bit. I was nervous, and to make the situation more heartbreaking than knowing he was about to get stabbed in the leg three times with a needle was that he was happy as a clam. He was smiling, cheerful and oblivious to the pain that was heading his way.

Shot one. He didn't flinch. Shot two and three however hurt him. I didn't actually see it, as I had Chris block my view, but I saw my little guys face go from happy-go-lucky to shock then horrified, then in pain and he finally ended mad. We snuggled him, and tried to calm him which didn't really work. Naturally we can give him all the love in the world but the only thing that stopped him from crying was a nip off the old bottle.

I'll tell you this: I'm never, ever doing shots without Chris.

You Know You're A New Mom When...

....you go to bed at 8:30. Nighty-night!

Hayden Life Is In Mortal Danger!

I almost ate him today. He was so cute I almost lost it! He was giving me this adorable smile, I almost took a big ol' bite out of him. Then, he did this funny face where is looks down which makes his cheeks pudgy and he pushes out his lips and I again almost went bizerk and took another bite out of him. If he gets any cuter I fear for him.

I'm working on getting a picture of him when he makes that silly face....

Like Father Like Son

Hayden takes after his dad - they both have tons of gas. Last night, Hayden was up from 4-6am with gas pains. Poor kid wakes up and squirms around, pushing as hard as he can to get out a fart. It's hard for him - he can't get them out! Unfortunately it is formula that causes the gas that's difficult to process and expel. I just feel so bad for the little guy when this happens.

My Mom's Version of Putting Hayden to Bed

My mom offered to put Hayden to sleep the other night. I was a little skeptical because she is so over-the-top in love with him she can't stop talking to him and trying to get him to smile. I finally relented and said, "sure mom, you can put him to bed, but remember, don't talk to him or it winds him up and he'll never fall asleep".

Fast forward 15 minutes. Chris walks by Hayden's bedroom and sees my mom not only talking to Hayden, "How much do I love you" but with a rattle in his ear! Poor kid couldn't sleep if he wanted to. So, I graded my mom and gave her a big fat "F" for putting him to sleep.

I'm treading on thin ice here by telling this story because my mom, since that time not only stopped doing that, but she even feeds him in the middle of the night when she sleeps over. I can't screw this arrangement up! LOVE YOU MOM!

Chris' Version of 'Babysitting'

Poop Diapers.

All those parents out there that said changing diapers isn't that bad were right. In fact, Hayden is sometimes at his very cutest when I am changing his diapers - he coo's at me and smiles - it's great.

I can do without the poopie diapers - his already stink, but it's really it's not that bad.

I Pick Hayden's Nose.

I'm not afraid to admit it - I pick Hayden's nose. When I see a little bat in the cave, I try to get it out. Who wants a kid with buggers? I guess I could use a q-tip, but he's my boy, who I created from scratch, so I feel it's somehow justified.

For all of you that are thinking I have cooties, I'll have you know I wash my hands obsessively throughout the day so any Hayden cooties I may have 'picked' up have been eliminated.

I'M LIKE THE FURNITURE

Now that Hayden is smiling, Chris and I are in constant competition to see who can make him smile more and bigger. I've lost.

I spend all day with Hayden making silly faces, singing and jumping around - anything for a smile. I only get the occasional smile. Chris, who only spends one hour with him a day walks into Hayden's room, talks in a cockney accent and Hayden not only smiles (ear to ear no less) but giggles! He says, "Hello luv" and Hayden lights up like a Christmas tree. After Chris left the room, I tried it, "Hello luv" and Hayden barely even made eye contact with me.

I complained to Chris who summed it up. He said I spend so much time with Hayden I've become like furniture. In Hayden's eyes it's like, o look, there is the couch, chair, rug, blond woman, phone, etc, etc, etc. All my love, time and attention I pay to this kid, and I've BECOME THE EQUIVALENT OF FURNITURE! A mother's love is always under appreciated.

Hippy Mom.

I never thought I'd be the kind of mom to have a sling. They are too hippy-dippy. Well, I got one, because my little guy likes to stay with me all day long and I want to keep him close but also get things done. Enter stage left - the sling. Anyway, Hayden looks adorable in it, and it's army green which I like.