My company brings in high level executives and CEO's to discuss topics on women in the workplace. One recurring theme is that all working mom's feel they are not accomplishing enough, both at home and at work. I, like most women suffer from this complex.
If I had more time I could accomplish more at my job and be a more attentive mom. It's a constant, day-to-day struggle on where to focus my attention. I try to be a great, amazing and engaging mom and I attempt to be great at my job.
My rational self knows I couldn't give Hayden any more love and I am lucky to work at a company that allows me to work from home several times a week, in a field I love no less.
However, that doesn't stop the little voice from creeping in. Could I have done better on that client call? Should I have gone on that business trip? Did the client care I got them a deliverable a day late because I had to run home to relieve the nanny? Do my bosses think I am slacking off? Does my team understand my shifting priorities and are they resentful?
Ultimately, I need to find peace in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can. I can't compete with people that don't have kids. I don't need to work my way up the corporate ladder - I am in a perfect position that is financially rewarding and flexible. That my son, my little man, is growing and flourishing and I spend more time with him than most moms and more quality time than many stay at home moms. And every second I am with him is an absolute joy and I try to savor every moment, sadly putting him to bed at night, wishing I had a few more hours each day to play and watch him grow.
The errands around the house I never seem to have time for will just have to wait. The mail will lay unopened, the clothes in a pile-station near my bed and that will have to suffice and I won't, I REFUSE to feel an iota of guilt!
Thank you Shelly Lazarus for speaking with us today. You message resounded perfectly with me!
