Brilliant Or Incredibly Dumb?

My husband has a group of friends that are pregnant or have kids. They had this idea to rent a house for a week over the summer and bring all the kids (ranging in age from a few months to 2 yrs).

Chris and I signed up, and are really excited. However, I realize that in my naiveté, I may have just signed up for a week of sheer hell with about 6 infants and 2 toddlers. Hayden is not included in this of course because he'll be perfect.

Check! Babies Room Done.

Window treatments were just installed - and Hayden's room is complete. I can have a baby in peace now!

Check out his adorable little room! I love it so much, I want to move in... think he'll mind?

Childbirth Class.

I'm in biiiiiig trouble. I got faint in childbirth class. The really scary thing is that she wasn't even talking about labor and delivery - but about the epidural. Then, when she got to labor and the "transition period" I nearly lost it - so I left and sat down in the cool hallway to get some much needed air.

I'm not sure I really want to take this class anymore. Just give me the drugs and tell me when to push.

I've Been Replaced!

I was always the apple of my parents eyes. My sister as well, but we'll just focus on me, because it is my blog. As I was saying, my parents think I'm the funniest, prettiest, kindest, smartest person in the world. It's a great feeling!

I sent my parents two thank you cards after the baby shower. One from me, that was long and heartfelt, thanking them for all they've done for me my entire life. The other note was from Hayden that was cute and basically said, "Grandma & Grandpa: thank you so much for the crib! Can't wait to meet you! Hayden"

My mom called me to tell me how she LOOOOOOVED Hayden's thank you card. I said, "Mom that's great - glad you liked it! Did you also get the thank you card from me? You know the one that went on and on about how much I love you and how appreciative I am of having such great parents?" My mom was like, "Oh that, yeah we got that. But Hayden's card is really so great! I love it! It's on the fridge!"

I realized then and there, I've been replaced in my parents eyes by Hayden.

Can Mom's Be Cool?

I always thought the answer was 'YES! Mom's can in fact be cool!' I always thought the reason I never saw a cool mom (ever!***) is because they didn't get it. They were simply too wrapped up in baby stuff and diapers to care about what is cool like, buying that cool new outfit or throwing caution to the wind and wear, *gasp* heels.

Well, I'm smack in the middle of my third trimester (8.5 months) and I have turned from cool pregnant to yoga pant wearing, new balance sporting, all black all the time comfort clothes. Honestly, nothing fits! And the very last thing I want to do is see myself in a department store mirror as I buy new fashionable clothes to fit my very unfashionable frame. So, my point is this: I look like crap and I'm going to start my new life as a mom on this bad clothes trend. I'm doomed to loserville before I even began.


*** For the sake of a few cheap laughs, I said I've never seen a cool mom. I must caveat that all my friends who are mom's think they are cool, so I don't want to offend them by letting them know they are not. So, for all my mom friends out there - you are cool! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! (even though you talked me out of using a marc jacobs pocketbook as diaper bag and wanted me to decorate in all denim because it doesn't stain and live in the upper most part of the upper east side to be close to the nanny and get drunk just looking at red wine!) You are still hot girlfriends - ROCK ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES!!

So, What Is It Like At The OBGYN?

I'll provide a little update on my last OBGYN apt.

Dr. Goodstein: Hi Allison. How are you feeling? Anything new?

Allison: Feeling really good. Surprisingly good. Although, I do have a question.

Dr. Goodstein: Okay, shoot.

Allison: Welllllllll, I was wondering if there were any medical advances in labor and delivery since my last visit. Liiiike, wellll, maybe labor is a step I can skip in this process?

Dr. Goodstein: Hmm, no, don't think so. What exactly were you thinking?

Allison: Um, well. You know how on Star Trek they can beam people from the ship to the planet? Well, I was hoping someone can beam Hayden out of me on my due date. No mess, no fuss, no pain.

Dr. Goodstein: No. Don't think we've come that far yet. Any other ideas?

Allison: Well, the whole stork method wouldn't be bad, although I don't know if I'd trust my newborn to a bird. But, it may still be a better option than labor & delivery.

Dr. Goodstein: Laughing. (more like a giggle fit...)

Allison: A few more questions, like, (yada, yada - all boring).

Dr. Goodstein: Okay Allison, well, it was good to see you. Anything else?

Allison: Just wanted to let you know that this pregnancy has been really positive for me. I feel good, although I've certainly had my moments. The most surprising thing is that my husband and I, who I've always been close to, are even closer and have fallen deeper in love. We have so much to look forward to.

Dr. Goodstein: Wow! That is so sweet I want to cry. This has been a great appointment, you made me laugh & cry. What a day. Thanks Allison!

Allison: Oh, no. Thank you!

Dear God, I Saw A Real Live Labor

So, I went to the OBGYN the other day, which is in a regular doctor's office - not a hospital. Anyway, as I'm sitting, waiting to be called, I hear screaming coming from down the corridor. My head snaps up to listen, as do all of the other ladies in the office. We hear it again. We now turn ghostly white and our eyes are huge; clearly we are terrified.

A lady comes out of the corridor, and I say, "what is going on down there!?” She says she brought her friend in who was in labor. She explains, her co-worker, (not even friend) was in labor at the office and decided to go the Shake Shack to grab a burger and milkshake. She stood on the Shake Shack line for about an hour, in labor, huffing and puffing waiting for her burger. She ate the burger, drank the milkshake and then hopped on the subway to go to hospital. By the time they got on the subway, Labor Lady realized she was much farther along than she anticipated (because she was more focused on burger & milkshake than impending motherhood). She gets to the subway and decides she is closer to the OBGYN than hospital so she heads to OBGYN. (I can’t even think about why she didn’t hail a cab).

Okay, now, here I am, the most pregnant person in the room, listening to his women screaming her head off - about to have a baby. The nurses are running around. The doctors and running around. And all the ladies in the waiting room are freaking out and staring at me, like I’m about to go any moment as well. Like labor is contagious.

The paramedics show up. They have a gurney and wheel it through the waiting room. I am thinking to myself, "Oh, Holy Mother Of God, I am about to see a woman in labor. I can't believe it. A real live woman in labor! I don't want to see this!!" But I do. I really want to see her.

Annnnyyyywaaaaay, as soon as they are about to wheel this crazy woman out, I hear, "Allison Young". The one lone nurse on duty called MY NAME for my monthly weigh and to put me in my room so I can wait for the doctor. I'm so annoyed! Now I'm not going to see Labor Lady. But, I don’t put up a fight, I just go. As soon I get to the room I hear cheering and clapping. And I run out, "it's a boy!" The ladies in the waiting room are crying. Then I hear, "Allison Young" and I say, “I don't want to go - this is where the action is!” And they give me a look like I’m five and say, tell me to go back to my room. So I do. Five minutes pass, no doctor. Then I hear, clapping again! I run out. They just wheeled the burger/milkshake eating mom out, with her five minute old baby. I can't believe it - I missed it again!

Hayden's Hiccups.

I felt Hayden hiccuping for the first time two nights ago. It was adorable. Every few seconds my tummy would do a little jump. It's such a little thing, but it really warmed my heart.

It was super-cute and I can't wait for him to arrive!

To Buggaboo?

There is this phenomenon in NYC called, "The Buggaboo". Simply put, it's a $900 stroller and it comes in Kelly Green. Well, it also comes in other colors, but who cares because Kelly Green is the best color.

In NYC, trends come, catch on and are almost impossible to avoid. The Buggaboo is not about being a better stroller (although the owners claim it is), it is about keeping up with the Joneses.

Like, when I got engaged: is my diamond ring bigger than yours? Is my pocketbook Marc, Fendi or Chloe? Is my push present bigger/better than yours? Frankly, I am sick of it! I may have fallen into the trap with engagement ring (2ct), bags (mine's ferragamo) and the push present (more diamonds!) but I REFUSE to fall into the Buggaboo trap. I will not do it!

Seven Weeks Left!

As of yesterday, I am officially 33 weeks pregnant, which means in seven weeks I will have a real, live baby living in my house, expecting me to change his diaper, change his clothes, sing songs to put him to sleep and convert my glorious newly enlarged boobs to breakfast, lunch and dinner....

Oh, and let's not forget the pushing a 7lb child out of my na-na. I am really excited for Hayden, and the more real it becomes the more labor becomes less of a concern. Do not get me wrong: I am concerned, deeply concerned. Simply writing about it makes my heart beat faster and palms sweat, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I simply cannot bring a baby home without mind-boggling pain. However, I will have an epidural and my doctors SWEAR it won't run out like it did for that woman on TV, so I think I'll somehow survive.

Dad as a Doctor

So, my entire life I've been blessed and cursed to have a Dad as a doctor.

The Blessings: I have someone that actually knows what he is talking about when diagnosing my little ailments. I never had to harass my real doctor about aches & pains and I never had to wait on line at doctor's office, which means I've saved countless hours doing things I want to do, instead of sitting next to sick people.

The Curse: He thinks I am a pain in the ass and complain about little things that are dumb. In addition, I am a true baby when it comes to things like shots. I got a flu shot last night and had a mini-freak out thinking about the needle. God only knows how I will handle labor.

One time, (and no Dad, I will never let you live this down!) I was skiing, fell and broke my arm. The entire bone broken. Broken in two! My dad saw me lying on the ground, writing in pain, unable to ski, and he was all like, "oh get up, don't be such a baby, you can ski down the mountain!"

So, now, I have Hayden on the way, and I am THRILLED to have a Pediatrician as a Dad. Will I drive him crazy? You betchya! Do I care? Not one iota.

Bad Blogger + Shower News!

I apologize for abandoning all my loyal readers and fans. I guess building a baby took over, allowing me less time to actually blog, work and move to Brooklyn. (I'm still ahead of my husband who can't talk and drive at the same time....).

Okay, so the big news in my life is as follows:

My family and friends threw me the most fantastic, sophisticated and fab-u-lous baby shower of all time. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
The shower was at Bottino (10th ave and 24th st) and all my friends and family were there. I've been to showers before, but have an entirely new respect/admiration now that I'm the recipient of one. To have all these women gather around and help me get started on the biggest journey of my life is a feeling that I can’t yet describe. Everyone was so generous and excited for us. I am truly blown away and feel unbelievably lucky to have such a close group of supportive women.

The only travesty is that the theme of the shower was my blog - which I LOVE! - but I've been a blog-slacker. So now, as I said, I'm back and ready to blog once more!