Dear God, I Saw A Real Live Labor

So, I went to the OBGYN the other day, which is in a regular doctor's office - not a hospital. Anyway, as I'm sitting, waiting to be called, I hear screaming coming from down the corridor. My head snaps up to listen, as do all of the other ladies in the office. We hear it again. We now turn ghostly white and our eyes are huge; clearly we are terrified.

A lady comes out of the corridor, and I say, "what is going on down there!?” She says she brought her friend in who was in labor. She explains, her co-worker, (not even friend) was in labor at the office and decided to go the Shake Shack to grab a burger and milkshake. She stood on the Shake Shack line for about an hour, in labor, huffing and puffing waiting for her burger. She ate the burger, drank the milkshake and then hopped on the subway to go to hospital. By the time they got on the subway, Labor Lady realized she was much farther along than she anticipated (because she was more focused on burger & milkshake than impending motherhood). She gets to the subway and decides she is closer to the OBGYN than hospital so she heads to OBGYN. (I can’t even think about why she didn’t hail a cab).

Okay, now, here I am, the most pregnant person in the room, listening to his women screaming her head off - about to have a baby. The nurses are running around. The doctors and running around. And all the ladies in the waiting room are freaking out and staring at me, like I’m about to go any moment as well. Like labor is contagious.

The paramedics show up. They have a gurney and wheel it through the waiting room. I am thinking to myself, "Oh, Holy Mother Of God, I am about to see a woman in labor. I can't believe it. A real live woman in labor! I don't want to see this!!" But I do. I really want to see her.

Annnnyyyywaaaaay, as soon as they are about to wheel this crazy woman out, I hear, "Allison Young". The one lone nurse on duty called MY NAME for my monthly weigh and to put me in my room so I can wait for the doctor. I'm so annoyed! Now I'm not going to see Labor Lady. But, I don’t put up a fight, I just go. As soon I get to the room I hear cheering and clapping. And I run out, "it's a boy!" The ladies in the waiting room are crying. Then I hear, "Allison Young" and I say, “I don't want to go - this is where the action is!” And they give me a look like I’m five and say, tell me to go back to my room. So I do. Five minutes pass, no doctor. Then I hear, clapping again! I run out. They just wheeled the burger/milkshake eating mom out, with her five minute old baby. I can't believe it - I missed it again!