Fifth Anniversary of Sept 11th

Today is the fifth anniversary of September 11th. Do I feel any safer? No. Do I think additional attacks will happen in NYC? Yes. So then I ask myself, why do I stay in NYC?

I’m nervous something will happen to Chris and I in NY, while Hayden is (thankfully) safe at home in Brooklyn. That he will grow up without us. Maybe I should move to another state, like Connecticut. No one cares about Connecticut. It’s small, gets really cold in the winter and mass-produces WASPS.

3 Months Left!

I hit my third trimester. THIRD TRIMESTER PEOPLE! That means, the baby is coming, and soon. I've got a million + 20 things to do, like: find a pediatrician, tour the hospital, take baby CPR, lamaze (although I have zero intention of using it - thank you epidural), and the list goes on and on and on and on and on.

The home stretch. I'm feeling excited to see Hayden. Excited to have my body back. Excited to have a glass of wine, oysters & unpasteurized cheese. I'm also, terrified of labor. Scared to take care of Hayden. Scared to have my body back (what, no more ice cream before bed? And a nazi husband who will whip me into shape).

OMG! I Saw A Scary Labor

So, I decided quite stupidly, that I should watch a real, live childbirth on The Discovery Channel. I eventually felt that I need to be informed of the potential hurdles of labor. I can't tell you what a horrible decision this was. I can barely write about it because I can barely think about it without wanting to vomit with fear.

Let me break it down, very briefly... (if I go into details, I will get myself sick)
1. It took 3 tries of stabbing this poor girl in the back before the Epidural took.
2. I will never, as long as I live allow forecepts to be used to extract babies from my na-na.

All I want is for a stork to drop off Hayden at my front door on December 1st. Or else, at time of labor, I want to transfer the baby, like the Star-Trek Transporter thing-a-ba-bob, from myself to Chris so he can go through labor. This kid better love me. And I mean love me a lot, like, more than Chris.